My panic monster woke up from a long nap this week and decided to make up for lost time, so I've been doing a lot of pacing, breathing exercises, wiping my sweaty palms, and juggling. Like, actual juggling. With balls and everything. Although I drop them so much it'd be more accurate to call what I do "throwing balls at myself and missing."
Still, it helps.
You know what also helps?
NEW RAINBOW SHOES...
THAT LIGHT UP
Being short can be annoying sometimes, but having the small feet that go
with it ROCKS.
Then I made them better with
pink rainbow laces:
The tale would have ended there, except 10 days later the lights on one of
my shoes went out. UNACCEPTABLE. I can't be flashy on only one side,
it'll throw off my groove. So John exchanged the shoes. Except the new pair
he brought home had dark mystery stains on them. I stared at them like
this:
... and John sighed and went back to exchange the exchange.
At
this point things get a little ridiculous.
The new new pair didn't fit right, y'all.
I swear I'm not making this up. One heel pinched and the other shoe
had a big wrinkle in the side that pushed in with every step. (I know, I can
feel your shock at Walmart's lack of quality control over a pair of $16
shoes from here.)
I'd like to say I tried not to complain, because at this point John had done
more than his due diligence, but I love these shoes, gang. They're as
comfortable as my Chucks and are rainbow and light up. So I
did not try. I complained.
It was then John discovered the shoes are already discontinued (NOOOOO) and
getting harder to find in-store (NOOOOOOOOOO), so several days later
a large box arrived:
And while I'm reminding you how well John and I do at adulting, here's a
photo series from his last haircut:
He's spent YEARS perfecting his "Blue Steel."
We love y'all, go have an amazing, rainbow-licious weekend, k?
*****
P.S. If you, too, would like to
throw balls at yourself and miss, then I HIGHLY recommend getting a set of
professional juggling balls:
Typical grounding exercises don't always work for me, but tossing even a single one of these back and forth for 10 minutes helps get me out of my own head and focus on slowing my breathing. I love the feel of them; the vinyl with the beans inside is incredibly soothing and tactile, not to mention they won't bounce or roll away when you drop them, which I believe I mentioned I do a lot? :p
Learning to juggle, the best way to do it is standing in front of a bed or a couch. So when they drop you don't have to kill your back/knees/hips by bending over so far to pick them up each time.
ReplyDeleteYes! This! I juggle over the bed, it's a life/knee saver.
DeleteY'all are both such absolute dorks, and I love it. <3
ReplyDeleteAlso, your shoe story reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite (and one of the most tragically underrated) movies of all time, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium:
"You see these shoes? I found these in a tiny, little shop in Tuscany and fell in love with them so entirely, I bought enough to last my whole life."
My favorite juggling tutorial was from YouTube channel SingingBanana called 'Three Ball Juggling Tutorial'. "Step one: Take one ball. Hold it out in front of you. Turn it around, drop it on the floor. OK, get used to that, that's going to happen a lot. But that's fine, that's normal." :)
ReplyDeleteBahahah! I couldn't have said it better myself.
DeleteShort me and my big feet are very jealous! Also John is a sweetheart!
ReplyDeleteNo judgement here - silly socks have been one of my favorite go-tos for quarantine stress relief. Today I have pineapples on one foot and bees on the other, and you know what? It's making me smile. So go ahead and rainbow up your feet any way you want to! =-)
ReplyDeleteAnd just the mental picture of that makes ME smile, so thank you!
DeleteAs a woman who wears size 10-11, can I please tell you how jealous I am of those shoes?!?
ReplyDeleteDITTO to the nth degree. I detest my big feet!
DeleteAnd now I might have to find those shoes for one or more of my daughters! Too bad my almost 12 year old probably has too big of feet for them - she grew into 9.5 women's over last summer! Big feet run in our family, no surprise. John is wonderful to help you get your well deserved rainbow shoes!
ReplyDeleteSaucony makes some wacky colored shoes if your feet are larger than child sizes. I think their line is called the Jazz maybe? I used to have a pair of theirs that was the same bright green as a tennis ball. Not quite a rainbow, but still somewhat ridiculous if you're in the market for that sort of thing.
DeleteWe used to make our juggling balls all the time when we were kids (and wreck them pretty soon after!) - plastic wrap; rice; 2 balloons of contrasting colours. Square of wrap with fist sized amount of rice. Wrap rice tightly (maybe add another layer). Cut off stalk on balloon 1. Wrap balloon 1 around rice-ball. Cut off stalk on balloon 2. Wrap around balloon 1, covering stalk-hole. cut extra holes to show off balloon 1's colours.
ReplyDeleteAh, I wish they made cute shoes for wide feet!! Your juggling reminded me of my youngest son. He started juggling odd things, like plates (he broke one - couldn't believe I would find out "Who counts plates?" and long kitchen knives. He'd be juggling the knives, and I'd hear "OW". I'd tell him to wear shoes when he juggled knives. He never hurt himself, but I'd never recommend juggling knives! I enjoy your stories, Jen - they brighten my day!
ReplyDeleteI learned to juggle as a young teen in the mall (thanks for those mall reminiscent earrings from earlier this week, I knew EXACTLY what you were referring to) with a Klutz book. I still have the “balls (actually cubes) that came with the book. I never thought of using them for stress relief, but I may need to go try them out!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, switch to juggling SCARVES! Like, the gauzy handkerchief kind. They sort of float down as you juggle, meaning you can actually achieve something that looks correct. And not drop them. And they come in so many colors.
ReplyDeleteOoo- that's so smart!
DeleteOh I wish they'd make those wonderful shoes big enough for hobbit feet like mine! What an absolute hero John is for going above and beyond to get you three perfect pairs!
ReplyDeleteI also have small feet and have bought back-up pairs of really comfy shoes. But your story reminded me of a different purchase -- I don't wear lipstick, but love the pink-tinted Dr. Pepper lip balm. Several years ago, I read that Lip Smacker was going to discontinue it. I panicked, and bought every tube I could find. Then I panicked some more and ordered a couple dozen tubes online. Suffice it to say, I am still well stocked. Oh, and the stuff is still being sold, so I buy the occasional tube at Dollar Tree or Target, for good measure.
ReplyDeleteI'm so jealous of your rainbow light-up shoes! At least I can console myself with all my maryjane-style Crocs, in almost every color. I've got close to 2 dozen now
ReplyDeleteAs another short small footed woman thank you for this post. I have been wanting new shoes for in the classroom. I think that these would be perfect. I may have a rainbow pair and a black pair with rainbow hearts on their way to me. I know the toddlers and myself will be happy with light up soles during the times we do movement activities.
ReplyDeleteSo about 15 years ago I was more in practice with juggling and I decided to learn to juggle and eat an apple at the same time for a talent show or something. The problem was that my conscious mind was saying "bring apple to face" and my muscle memory was saying "throw" so I mostly just threw the apple at my own face. XD
ReplyDeleteI do hope that for those "wrong" pairs of shoes that didn't fit properly, that you tried each left / right separately to find a new pair that did fit. (I'll try to refrain on commenting on quality control to have so many shoes and so little consistency that you only found six shoes, three pair, that actually fit)
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others who would like fun shoes in larger sizes. I've been a 10w since high school. That was many, many years ago. I'm old enough to be your . . . aunt.
I want a john.
sigh
p.s. what's a foot long, made of leather, and sounds like a sneeze? a shoe
Have I mentioned that the summer reading theme is “Reading Colors Your World”? And I’m now off to find a women’s size 9 equivalent in footwear. Because there are rainbows EVERYWHERE in the Children’s Department! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteDo whatever makes you happy! Being an adult just means that you have money to buy/make all the pretties! I've been making plushies for friends, and yesterday bought a Xena Warrior Princess doll because heck, it's XENA.
ReplyDeleteAll the "pretties"?
DeleteMy 5'1" size 5 shoe wearing sister TOTALLY agrees with you about kid's shoes. She's also excited that my 6 yo will probably be handing down shoes to her in a 1 to 1.5 years.
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'11" and wear shoe size 12. There are very few fun shoes in my size - Pretty? Sometimes. Fun? No. In a local store? Not at all.
I am very jealous that I have big feet and thus am condemned to uncute shoes. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteSo, you found shoes that fit and that you liked, and you bought enough to last you several years instead of only one pair? Sounds like sensible, mature adult behavior to me? (at least, I find it very difficult to locate comfortable shoes, so the next time I find some that wear well for a week, I'll probably be buying out the stock so that I can have SHOES that FIT COMFORTABLY again, finally, after an 8-year I-guess-this-is-the-best-I-can-do drought on truly well-fitting shoes after my last pair of really well-fitting shoes bit the dust.)
ReplyDeleteI'm another shorty with small feet (4'10" and between a size 5-6 depending on brand and shoe style). I have often resorted to buying kids shoes when I can't find women's shoes small enough, although I've never found cool rainbow shoes like those! I was maid of honor in a college friend's wedding and the shoes she picked out for her attendants didn't come in a size smaller than a 7, so I had to hunt high and low to find something similar that would fit me. None of the kids shoes had a high enough heel, so in the end I had to buy a too-big pair and stuff the toes to make them mostly fit.
ReplyDeleteAnd I absolutely buy multiple pairs of any shoe that I like that fits (as long as it's not too crazy expensive). In fact, I have 5 shoe boxes in my closet right now, waiting for when my current pair of "yay these fit and are comfortable" shoes wear out. :)
I was hoping for the "you're a tiger" pose in the photo shoot, and I was not disappointed! You two are so cute!
ReplyDeleteLOL - I saw these shoes in my Walmart last week and immediately thought of you. And then that they are just barely too small for me :(
ReplyDelete