This One's For You, Torii

Several months back there was a giant box delivered to our P.O. Box. I'm talking a box that could easily hold, like, 4 cats. BIG. Inside was an overwhelming mishmash of gifts: bags and boxes of snacks, magnets, a tote bag, face masks, post-cards... a veritable cacophony of goodies.

Once I'd investigated and read through all the postcards, I learned that the box was from four of you readers: Gina, Valinda, Cissie, and Torii. They'd met through Fans of Epbot on Facebook, and had become fast friends. The box was a mini celebration of their first in-person meetup; they'd spent a whole weekend together, including a day at a local spa. Because they'd met through FOE they wanted to share the celebration with me, and sent along face masks and body scrubbers, plus ALL the fun snacks and sweets. 

Aw yeeeah.

But that was only the beginning! 

During their weekend they each brought postcards from their home states, which they used to write personal thank you notes to *me* for inspiring FOE. 

Then there were Harry Potter leggings and an incredible Hufflepuff purse that I think Valinda made, which matches the banner I have in my office!
 

 
I took this right after I'd finished opening everything, and you can see I've cried all my eye makeup off from this NEXT thing I'm about to show you.

So naturally the ladies made matching t-shirts for their weekend together. They called themselves the Bare Naked Ladies because of the spa "body shampoo"  experience, ha, and gave themselves nicknames on the back:

 From left to right that's Torii the Collaborator,  Valinda the Party Crasher,  Gina the Instigator, and Cissie the Mastermind.

So after reading all this I reached into the box for the last item, which promptly made me start crying. They'd made me my OWN matching shirt, y'all, and look what they wrote on the back:

They called me the Origin Story. Now I'm crying those happy tears again.

Oh yeah, and here's Eva telling me EXACTLY what she thinks of my request that she get out of the box, ha.
 

Listen, most of you only know me - and will only ever know me - through text on a screen. So you'll have to take my word for it when I say I genuinely wish I could meet you all in person, give you a hug if that's your thing, and buy you a Dole Whip. I really do care, so it hurts sometimes when I can't give each of you the individual attention and support you deserve. It's a weird balancing act, trying to be a friend to 10,000 people. I do what I can, I reach out in a few crisis points where I think it might help, but overall I know I'm just this flat text on a screen.

That's where FOE comes in. That's where FOE - and to a smaller extent, the Epbot Discord - has been a real life light and community to so many of you. Every month I get letters and cards telling me FOE is where you met your best friend. It's where you met your bridesmaids. It's where you found the people you video-chat or go to dinner with, people who are now part of your everyday lives, and helping you survive all those real life things 2020 throws your way.

This story also has a real life ending, I'm very sorry to say, as I've just learned that one of the Bare Naked Ladies, Torii, is suddenly extremely ill. There was almost no warning, and no one had any idea back when they packed up that big box for me. I've been filled with regret that I didn't share all this sooner; that I didn't publicly tell Gina, Valinda, Cissie, & Torii how much their gifts have meant to me. I've even kept that giant box tucked under my desk all this time, because as I told Gina today, "It's like I wanted to hang on to all this happy, and packing it away would be giving that up." 

Torii, I don't know if you'll get to read this now, but thank you. Thank you for taking a chance and reaching out to a bunch of internet strangers, for letting them be a part of your life. Thank you for inspiring me to reach out more myself, to take more chances on more friendships, because we need each other so much right now. You've made my world and my life better, just by being you. I will never forget that. And I will always be proud to be your friendships' Origin Story.

For everyone else here: please don't wait. Don't hide and hibernate 'til 2020 or the pandemic or whatever is over: live now. Love now. Of course be safe, but find a way to connect with people however you can, because in the end it is only our relationships that last eternity, only the love we leave behind that truly matters. 

I'll say it again, because even though I'm only text on a screen, sometimes that's just barely enough: I love you, and I'm glad you're here. You make the world better - you make Torii's and Gina's and Valinda's and Cissie's and so many others' worlds better - just by being you. Remember that today, and please, pass it on.

*****

UPDATE: Torii passed the morning after this posted. Another reader, Adele, was at her bedside and read this post to her while she was still awake, and reports Torii shed happy tears to see such an outpouring of love from this community. Thank you again, all of you.

Torii and her husband have 6 young children, and there is a relief fund set up for the family here.