Routine Maintenance: 4 Ways I've Reduced My Daily Anxiety By Limiting My Choices

For some of you, life is a choose-your-own-adventure candy store: the more options, the better.

But for a lot of us - and especially those of us with anxiety or other mental health struggles - too many choices are not only overwhelming, they make us absolutely miserable.

I was reminded of this when a photographer I follow on Instagram talked about how he "cheats indecision" by wearing a simple green shirt every day. One less choice each day = less stress. (Here's his video, if you want to check it out.)

I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but I've found this approach helps IMMENSELY when you're overwhelmed or just short on mental energy. You know, like during a global pandemic. In fact, for the last year or more I've been consciously limiting my choices in most areas of my daily life, so I can save my energy for more important things. As I result I have less internal paralysis (we've all hit that wall where we can't make even the simplest decisions, right?) and more focus and time to give the rest of my day.

Want some examples? Suuuure you do. So here come 4 everyday decisions I've found to be the most draining, and how I've learned to side-step them to save my spoons.

First, let's start with the Big One, and my first successful experiment in limiting choices:

- What I Eat

Discovering the Low FODMAP diet was my first step down this path, since it automatically took a bunch of options off the table. For over a year I ate the exact same thing for breakfast: a microwave egg bowl from Aldi. Was it boring? Yes. Did it kill my soul some mornings to eat the same thing AGAIN? So much yes. But it also gave me something wonderful I'd never had before as an adult: a no-brainer way to start my day with adequate food that wouldn't hurt me later. No more staring wide-eyed into the fridge, no more asking myself, "What do I feel like eating?", no more starving myself until my blood sugar tanked because I "just can't deal with this right now" and then later inhaling a pack of stale crackers because it's too late to make "real" food. Suddenly I didn't have to think, I didn't have to decide, and I had something I didn't hate to get me through 'til lunch.

Today I still eat the same breakfast every day, though it's healthier and tastier since I've leveled up to making it myself: two scrambled eggs, fresh cut tomatoes, and a piece of toast. That's not to say I don't make exceptions, because an inflexible routine is just as stressful as NO routine. I still have microwave bowls for low-energy days, or occasionally I'll heat up leftovers. If I stand in front of the fridge for more than 5 seconds trying to decide, though, that's my cue to fall back on The Routine.

Lunch is my weak spot; I'm still figuring out how to best automate that. On bad days I still skip it because I can't decide, and then my blood sugar tanks and I lose the whole rest of the afternoon. Arg. But most days I either heat up leftovers from previous dinners, or John will make us a sandwich.

When it comes to dinner, I'm not being over-dramatic when I say this magnetic menu board I bought last January has changed my life.

John and I used to waste HOURS every week on the "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" merry-go-round. Now every Sunday John decides what we'll eat (he asks for my input, but I'm not much help) and then I write it all out on the menu board in fun colors. (I had to buy more chalk markers, btw, and I highly recommend this rainbow pack, it's incredible.)

Shout-out to John who not only makes all these dinners, but has modified them all to be milk, onion, & garlic-free for me. 

I realize most of you probably don't have an in-home saint to make meals for you, but a menu board like this can still save you making those daily decisions. Fill out the week's menu on your day off, when you have the extra energy. It also helps to keep a master list of all the meals you can either make yourself or order from local restaurants, so you're not stuck struggling to remember all your options.

- What I Wear

Most of us don't want to wear the same color shirt everyday like Doug, but you can still limit your wardrobe choices to make getting dressed easier. On average I fall into an 80/20 split: 80% of the time I dress in the same basic outfit, but if I wake up with extra energy, then I break out the colorful dresses and skirts you sometimes see in my IG Story.

My go-to outfit for the 80% days is black yoga pants, a black geek tee, and Chucks in a matching accent color:

The yoga pants are from Walmart; once I discovered how comfy they were I bought 5 pairs. I still have to choose which geek tee I wear each day, but that usually doesn't trip me up for very long. (Though I'll admit, there are days when even that is a struggle.)

You can do something similar by wearing the same type of clothes each day, like jeans and a button-up, a skirt and a tank top, etc. Buy your favorite staples and accessories in multiple colors if you can, including your shoes. Pay attention to what you actually wear - as opposed to what you THINK you might wear, eventually -  and try to just buy that stuff. I also highly recommend CowCow dresses: they come in hundreds of fun patterns, cost about $25 each, and are a comfy stretch material that's equally perfect for work or lounging at home.


- What I Do Each Day

Anyone who has to fight with their brain already knows this, but routine is our friend. Routine is amazing for our mental and emotional health. It gives us stability and takes away the anxiety and stress of constant decision-making.

I've worked for myself for over 12 years, and routine is not just the way, it is the ONLY way. Because my days have so many elements to them, the best method I've found to keep them all in order is a physical daily list.

It's not pretty, but it gets the job done.

Each morning as I eat breakfast, I look over my laminated list. The things I have to do everyday are already printed, so I only have to jot down a few specifics on the side. (I also list things for John.) Then that list goes with me everywhere I work, from the desk to the treadmill desk, so that each time I find myself mindlessly scrolling I can look down at the list beside me and get back on track.

My list is double-sided; the back is a separate list for Sundays, when I work on Cake Wrecks. You might want to have a few different lists, too, but try not to weigh yourself down with TOO much detail. You only need enough of a guideline to lead you to your next task.

In fact, just so you don't get the wrong impression that I have all my stuff together: Once again, at best this falls into that 80/20 split again. There are days when I don't make a list, and other days when I never look at the list I did make. I try to make room mentally for the times when I need a break, when my mental circuits are fried. Because I don't take regular days off, my "days off" are sort of scattered around on an "as-needed" basis. I'll admit that's kind of a terrible plan, but I'm still a work in progress. I just haven't leveled up all the way yet. Remember, if you're doing anything better today than you did a year ago, that's a win. Give yourself permission and time to grow!


- What I Look At Online

The other week I found myself staring at a post from a Universal Facebook group I'm in, a group that's been in constant controversy over the not-so-new mask policy, and that delights in screaming the same things at each other in at least 3 new posts a day. And yet, there I was, about to click into the comments to see all the screaming. Controversy and conflict are so addictive, aren't they? Even when you already know where you stand on an issue, you can't help but be tempted to grab some popcorn and drag over a virtual chair to watch from the sidelines.

As I wrestled with the temptation to browse those top comments, I realized that here was one more decision, one more choice, that I shouldn't be inflicting on myself. I immediately muted the group for another month.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: you have to fight for your social media feeds, my friends. You can't be passive when it comes to what you feed your brain. Think of your social media feed like a garden: it's up to you to regularly prune out the life-choking weeds and nurture the flowers.

Beyond unfollowing the accounts that cause you stress or drag you down hate-filled rabbit holes, it's also important that you curate and limit the good stuff. Those of us who struggle with decisions often find ourselves trapped in the The Neverending Scrolling. (Aah a aahhh ah ahhhh ah ah) So save Future You the decision of when to stop by limiting how many accounts and people you follow! Go through your "follow" lists every few months - any time you have the extra time and energy - and only keep the accounts that bring your life joy or value. Still have too many? Then prioritize, and only keep your favorites. Feel guilty unfollowing your Aunt Edna or that friend who sells soap - or even me? Then use the "mute" or "hide" function to keep us from cluttering your feed.

I admit online stuff is another weak spot for me, so I'd welcome your input on how you protect your mental health without quitting social media. Do you limit your time online, or use it as a reward at the end of the day? Do you avoid Twitter and only go on TikTok? :D (For real though, TikTok is the one place that's consistently been making me laugh lately. I think Instagram & FB need more dancing, ha.)

And while you're at it, tell me your own life tips for managing daily decisions. What works for you? What doesn't? Do you limit your choices in other areas than these 4? How? Where? Does it help? Tell meeeeeeee.

And hey, I'm rooting for you today. Rest up, take your time, call a friend. Your next right thing will still be there when you're ready, I promise. ::hugs::

*****

P.S. Here's a look at a few of those CowCow dresses I mentioned. I own the unicorn one, and it gets more compliments than anything else I own.

 Amazon CowCow Dresses

Also I do realize the irony in presenting you with hundreds of dress options after a post about reducing your choices, but all I can say is... at least they're fun choices? :D (I have so many of these on my wish list. I think I want the dinos next.)