Is that a thing? A possible thing? Because if it's possible, then I would totally be the one to do it. Not to brag, but I am the girl who managed to severely pull a neck muscle by rolling over in bed. Truth. I couldn't turn my head for DAYS. Instead, anytime I wanted to see something to my left or right I had to swivel-lurch my whole torso around, like Batman, or one of the Cardassians.
(That's an admittedly dated reference to Deep Space 9, not a misspelled reference to the reality show stars. Although now I'm thinking someone should combine the two, and call it ODO SHE DIDN'T. Eh? EH??
I'm giving away gold today, people. GOLD.)
My point is, if you can theoretically pull an ear muscle while sleeping, then that is totally my bag.
Do ears even have muscles? Because the ouchy part is on the outside, which you don't generally see a lot of toning exercises for. I should check Pinterest...
Wait, what am I saying? Of course ears have muscles; that's how people wiggle them.
Their own ears, I mean. People wiggling other people's ears is a completely different, and potentially NSFW, story. So put the anatomy books down, folks; we just solved that one with LOGIC.
Now I can get back to brainstorming taglines for my new Alien vs Predator homage:
BATMAN vs CARDASSIAN, Neck And Neck
It's basically a game of Hide and Seek, except it's all gritty and modern, and also they're standing right next to each other.
(GOLD I SAY)
UPDATE: I asked John to look at my ear and he said it's kinda red but not to worry because I'm probably just getting a zit. Inside my ear. This is how horror movies start, people. Watch your ears.
Not to brag, but I've totally got you beat. I once stepped off a curb once and hurt my hip and back so much that it required surgery and 2 months on crutches to fix. Truth. About a year later, I sneezed and managed to dislocate my ilium. Like, the bone that is your pelvis.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, thanks for updating your blog. I've detoxed from Facebook...it was feeding my anxiety and depression (all those people with their perfect Facebook-lives) and time-wasting. It's been epbot, phdcomics, and pinterest since. Epbot is totally the best of the three.
(You probably don't remember me, but I'm the one who sent you an email back in 2011 to get help for a Halloween costume that I could use with crutches that I'd already covered in stripey fluorescent pink/blue/purple/green duct tape. You helped a ton. I ended up going as Tinker Bell's stunt double.)
Tinker Bell's stunt double!! That's awesome. Good on ya!
DeleteI'm totally with you on the Facebook detox! My overall life quality has improved so much since leaving FB that I even feel reluctant to go back to permanently delete my profile (I've deactivated it because I wasn't brave enough for the deleting yet).
DeleteGood to hear that there are others out there with the same issues. I also stick to Epbot and pinterest now :) I am following Jen on Pinterest of course ;)
Hahahahaha! I just got a nasty look from my dog because i woke her up from laughing to hard. Watch your ears... :D
ReplyDeleteI have hurt my ear sleeping - it felt like it must have folded over while I lay on my side. My ears are normal and proportional (I'm not Dumbo), so I didn't even think they could fold!
ReplyDeleteIt ached all day and then was better.
This happens to me, too - though I wear a folded up bandanna as a blindfold so I always attribute it to THAT.
DeleteLast night I tried to roll over and pulled one of those muscles above your hip bone, but one your stomach? IDK what they're called.
Are you on some meds we should know about? ; )
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your light-hearted nothingness. I was grinning the whole way through.
Merry Christmas!
I get those, and oh they HURT.
ReplyDeleteoh man, the feeling of popping a huge one though
Deletedagan's reply is GOLD. And is absolutely true. Gross, but oh dear god in heaven TRUE.
DeleteRe: This is how horror movies start, people.
ReplyDeleteI just watched an episode of Doctor Who and now that is all I can think of when I brush the sleep out of my eye.
That episode didn't bother me. But every time I wake up with a headache, I flash back to last year's Christmas Doctor Who episode. Blegh!
DeleteAnd Jen, my ear hurts from where I didn't move enough in my sleep last night. It sucks!
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DeleteMy sleeping-on-my-ear pain is slightly different. My ears have always stuck out slightly (useful for tucking one's hair behind, if not terribly aesthetic), but thanks to the fact that the ears are a body part that never stops growing, I've developed complications. Namely, flattening the ear by sleeping on it, I sometimes wake up with the ear hurting from the compression.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking there needs to be a special pillow for folks like me, with an ear-hole in it. Kinda like those donut pillows for sitting on, but for the head -- because this is only going to get worse....
I've been known to use one of those U-shaped travel pillows, turned sideways under my head, so that my ear is in the middle.
DeleteTry using one of those buckwheat pillows - they're great because you can actually 'dig a hole' for your ear before you go to sleep!
DeleteOh ghad, Gul Dukat is my secret WE WILL NOT DISCUSS THIS EVER love. I have no explanation...
ReplyDeleteOMG, I HATE ear zits. That's almost as bad as a zit somewhere ... farther south. Neither place should ever have zits.
ReplyDeleteIf we can still talk about tribbles, then Cardassia references are not dated!! How sad is it that chrome thinks both tribbles and Cardassia are misspelled?
Re: Neck and Neck . . . GOLD indeed!
ReplyDeleteI get ear zits all the time. They're the most annoying, painful, uncomfortable things. I was going to suggest you check for that, but your edit beat me to it :) Feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteJen, I sometimes manage to fold my ear over when sleeping and then it hurts - so yes it is possible to sleep on your ear wrong. I do it several times a year. I have also managed to sprain my ankle while walking across a flat surface.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. I am crying I'm laughing so hard and now I totally want that movie to be made.
ReplyDelete1 - Several years ago, I walked into Sears with my son, and noticed the new Kardashian Kollection or whatever it was called. I said, "Why would I want to dress like a Kardashian?" He replied, "I thought it was 'Cardassian'?" He REALLY couldn't figure out why you'd want to dress like one.
ReplyDelete2 - There's got to be a Ferengi joke in your ear story somewhere.
I spent at least 30 seconds trying to think of a good Ferengi ear joke. Nada. Can you believe it? HOW CAN THERE BE NO FERENGI EAR PUNS IN ALL OF THIS?
Deleteare you saying you didn't have the lobes to make an ear joke? ;)
DeleteThat comment really, really needs a Like button. :)
DeleteMrsblocko's comment needs a Like button. Seriously.
DeleteIn other news, I have often thought I might be part Ferengi due to my (WE WILL NOT DISCUSS THIS) love for oo-mox.
I went to open the door to my office building and sprained my shoulder, so I feel your (literal and figurative) pain. Hope you're feeling better soon. (I'm currently binge watching TNG but I should do DS9 once I'm done.)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I hurt my ear sleeping all the time! I just thought I was this freak with a fat, giant head that by some freak of genetics could pulverize their ear through the act of SLEEPING, but apparently I am not alone!
ReplyDeleteIt's also so cool to see DS9 references; no one talks about that show anymore. I loved it so much when I got a baby pink-eyed white rat that looked just like the stereotypical lab rat, I promptly named him Odo. Little Odo is gone now, but I'm thinking about resurrecting the name when/if I finally adopt a former lab beagle.
I have found that if the pillow I a m using is old enough, my ear gets glued to the pillow(a pressure differential?) and aches the next morning. IKEA had some awesome side sleeper pillows (Gose pinje) that helped, and I had them for many years (buying new ones as required) but they have changed their pillow lineup and it is gone.
ReplyDeleteIt does mean that I buy new pillows regularly, as that helps.
A) Yep, gotten the ear zit before, those are super special. Just don't pop it, 'cause it sounds really weird. (Ask me how I know) B) I've, several times, tweaked my neck while drying my hair and lost feeling in my tongue each time. Yep, real life numb-tongue (heh) C) Once threw out my back putting on my pants. Hubs wasn't home to had to debate whether it was bad enough to call friend/paramedics naked. Managed to half lie on bed long enough to move again and get clothes on. C) Cardassians should be the only TV family. ;)
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI've got also both. I once rolled over the bed to get my pullover. And pulled a muscle in my back. I needed to see a doctor and it was aching for 2 whole weeks. I also have an ear aching almost on a regular basis (every six months) because I folded it in sleep when rolling over.
First day back at work after the holidays (the horror!) and I needed this big gigglesnort today! And I've had a plook (a Scottish zit) inside my lughole! My spouse sorted it so John will have to squeeze it which will either be a gift for him or totally give him the wiggins (depending on how he feels about popping other peeps' blocked pores.) Let us know how it develops, eh?
ReplyDeleteAfter reading other comments I feel the need to clarify, just incase. A lughole? Is an ear. Nothing....er, farther south. Heh.
DeleteI have ridiculous tiny, delicate ears (thus, long hair) and this happens to me all the time. I wake up with the whole ear aching because the weight of my head has crushed it to a pulp. (A PULP, I say!) I try to fall asleep with NO ears touching the pillow, but that doesn't always work out.
ReplyDeleteI think your writer's block is beginning to break up. :) Comedy gold.
ReplyDeleteI've been getting a monthly zit behind my right ear lately. Hormones are weird.
Yes, totally a thing. It has happened to me and, as you can read, other folks. Not fun to have your ear hurt like that. From SLEEPING. I've pulled muscles in my neck and/or shoulders by having the pillows wrong under me and sleeping deeply. There now, don't you feel better to know you aren't alone, Jen?
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the chuckles.
Maureen S
Totally a thing! You can sleep on it wrong and get it folded up weird or put pressure on a spot. You can also get ear zits, which aren't as bad as they sound unless you get one of those underground cyst type ones and then you spend two weeks wondering if that is the real reason behind Van Gogh's decision to cut his ear off.
ReplyDeleteI have to get my ears arranged just so every night, or they ache. (And not the inside but the outer part). They're tiny little things, so it's not just a big-eared problem! Apparently I'm just delicate, hah!
ReplyDeleteNot only do I hurt myself when I sleep, I hurt other people. I'm currently sporting tendonitis in my arm caused by the fact that I tend to sleep on my arm rather than my pillow. (No. I don't know why either.) So, when said arm cramped in the middle of the night, only slightly awake I struck out, just to end up punching my husband in the eye.
ReplyDeleteAt least your ear probably won't hurt John. As long as that alien thing doesn't happen. But you might tell him to sleep lightly and duck if he hears a noise.
I once cracked a rib when I coughed too hard. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I went to the hospital emergency, and after the doctor explained to me what was wrong, he laughed out loud when I told him I had to play flute in a recital in 2 weeks. I actually made it through the recital, but it was tough. It was 6 weeks before I could breathe normally again.
ReplyDeleteI've had the zit-in-ear thing happen too - it was miserable for a short while but at least they go away. I've got poor sensitive ears with (as my doc said) no wax in them. So I guess I'm prone to this.
ReplyDeleteThe muscle-in-neck thing? Do it all the time! LOL I just got over the exact thing, confused as to what I did in my sleep as to cause something like this. Totally had to do the cardassian thing - your analogy made me giggle.
And yes. That reality show idea you have needs to be a thing. Maybe you and John can become YouTube stars next?
I've had the zit-in-ear thing happen too - it was miserable for a short while but at least they go away. I've got poor sensitive ears with (as my doc said) no wax in them. So I guess I'm prone to this.
ReplyDeleteThe muscle-in-neck thing? Do it all the time! LOL I just got over the exact thing, confused as to what I did in my sleep as to cause something like this. Totally had to do the cardassian thing - your analogy made me giggle.
And yes. That reality show idea you have needs to be a thing. Maybe you and John can become YouTube stars next?
Hey, I once herniated a disc in my back by standing up from a chair, so I totally sympathize with you! Get to feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteI have not hurt my ear sleeping, but I have both pulled my neck putting my shoes on and sprained my ankle getting out of bed.
ReplyDeleteOk, I haven't done the ear thing, but a couple of weeks ago, I managed to poke myself really badly just below my eye with my thumb while rolling over in my sleep. I actually broke the skin and it still hurts. My husband just show his head. He's used to my weird injuries.
ReplyDeleteThat should read "shook his head ". Darn autocorrect.
ReplyDeleteI have indeed hurt my ear sleeping. I don't know how, because, well, I'm asleep when it happens. But I wake up with my ear swollen...the ear canal itself, and the whole thing hurts. The whole outer ear, not an inner ear ache. It happens a few times a month.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only one.
I totally read that as "...or one of the Kardashians," and was both amused and confused.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes! I have definitely woke up with hurting ears because they got folded or pinched in the night while I was sleeping. Painful!
ReplyDeleteNow the zit... in the ear is rough. However, that one you get from time to time right on the inside of your nose is murder! It will make my eyes water to touch it hurts so bad! (Not that I go around poking it like that unknown blob in a creek bed with a stick but more like yep, it's still there and hurts when I blow/scratch my nose.)
Oh! Oh! I swear you and John should do a Podcast like "This Week in Geek" or a parody of Matt Bellasai's "Whine About It" and have it be "Pun About It".
Have you tried spot treatments? I have this thick gel from Garnier (garnier pure SOS pen), if I put it on several times a day, just a dab on the spot with an occasional wash before hand, it deals with the infection causing the pain, dries it so it brings the swelling down some. Never had anything but a mild sting if the skin bas broken from it and I have mildy atopic dermatitis. Haven't tried it in such a sensitive spot, though might work on the ears. I admit, it's better as a preventitive as it deals with it before hand faster than as a treatment during.
DeleteGirl, you are on FIRE today!
ReplyDeleteBased on the comments section, I have found my people. Just last week I had the random "What happened to my ear while I was asleep?" pain for days. Ten years ago I was walking on a clean, dry, clutter-free floor and twisted my ankle so badly it pulled the ligaments off with pieces of bone (avulsion fracture) and required ankle reconstruction surgery. After they removed the staples, they put steri-strips on and put a cast over them. Turns out, I'm allergic to steri-strips. So I was in terrible pain coupled with the most intense itching imaginable. Fun!
I prefer TNG, but there were Cardassians there too, so it's all good.
Oh, and I was once stung or bit on my face by a bug. I killed it, and took it to the doctor. Having had my face go numb and being allergic to EVERYTHING, we thought it was prudent. This doctor I'd never seen before looked at the bug, then at my face, and said, "You'll be fine, you just slapped the sh*t out of yourself." From that day until he died, I had the best doctor who ever existed. I miss him. :-(
DeleteI severely sprained my ankle by falling off a doormat once. I probably should have gone to the doctor about it--I've sprained ankles many times, and this was one of the worst--but was too embarrassed by the explanation. So it still hurts, more than a year later. A *doormat*.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes sleep on my ear and wake up with it sore as heck. Like I slept on the cartilage wrong. I dunno how that's possible on a nice squishy pillow but there it is. Also I sure do hate when I sleep wrong and mess my neck up like that. Once it was so bad I had to go to the doc for muscle relaxers. Sleep shouldn't be so difficult! XD
ReplyDeleteI broke my pinkie when I slammed on my brakes once. I apparently hit the finger just right, and straight into the steering wheel. It required two pins. Also, learned during all of this is that if it happened in a car, even if it wasn't a car accident, your health insurance won't pay it in Florida. You have to claim it through your auto. The nurse at the hospital may or may not have strongly implied I should lie about how it happened.
ReplyDeleteTHIS is the comment that finally made me laugh out loud!
DeleteI fell up stairs once.
ReplyDeleteOnce when I was younger, the alarm clock frightened me awake, my neck siezed and had to call mom to take me to the hospital. Mum cut down the amount painkillers they prescribed considering I was, and still am 5 feet nothing. I was out of school for days, the first week was horrible and I still tend to hurt my neck way too often or stress it too much if I don't stretch when I've been playing on the computer.
ReplyDeleteMy bff sprained her toe while sleeping. Her joints have been odd though haven't heard complaints lately so maybe they've settled down again.
I once went to sleep perfectly whole and work with a small chunk missing out of the top of my hand... I kid you not. A chunk. somehow it didn't bleed, but burned like crazy. And yesterday I woke up with a bruise at the base of thumb. Same hand. Not there when I sent to sleep. Apparently my bed is dangerous.. that or my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep.
ReplyDeletehey there. I think we're friends IRL. Or at least were at one time. Robin and a poorly sprung floor in Carmichael come to mind...
DeleteInternet bringing IRL friends back together....
I see your zit in ear and raise you a boil in your ear. Right at the bottom in that crevice above your earlobe. Yes, it hurt as much as you can imagine and possibly more. Good luck and yay in belonging to to odd injury and malady club!!
ReplyDeleteCartilage - in your ear. I quite often get this as I listen to audio books and fall asleep with my earphones in and then turn over onto them. It gets a bit dislocated I think, usually if I rub it, it sort of clicks back into place but occasionally not and then its blooming painful. Bodies are such irritating things.
ReplyDeleteTrue story. Several years ago, I picked up my son and brand new daughter-in-law from the airport. They had just returned from their honeymoon at Disneyland and were in the midst of their very first marital spat. My son was furious that they were running late for their flight at LAX and my DIL stopped to take photos of Kardashians walking through the airport. He looked, but did not see anyone in DS9 costumes (he is young, but I raised my children right, thank you). All through the flight DIL was talking about seeing Kardashians while he kept telling her that she was crazy and their were no Cardassians in the airport. They were still arguing as they got in my car. I laughed so hard that I couldn't see and had to pull over to the side of the highway.
ReplyDeleteHa! They'll never forget what their first argument was (I've no idea what ours was . . . nothing that funny).
DeleteI once broke my finger when I was killing an ant with my flip-flop. The ant did die, but that finger still hurts 10 years later. Have you tried using a microwave heating pad (the ones with rice or beans inside) on your ear?
ReplyDeleteOh man. I think you won the comments section! Laughing so hard...
DeleteOh, one of the "top 3" zits I've ever gotten was in my ear. Painful painful painful.
ReplyDeleteI've kneed myself on the eye before, trying to get off the couch while lying on my side. Then, just this weekend, I sneezed (not tremendously hard), and my lower back cracked. Luckily, that's all that happened.
My people!
ReplyDeleteI'm currently a Cardassian. Because sleep. I have been since the first… still waiting for it to relax. Oh, and I didn't drink on New Years eve. Just went to bed… wtf my body was up to, I have no idea.
Oh my gosh, that was hilarious! And I think I share your ability to injure oneself during sleep.
ReplyDelete~jeccaess
I giggled so much at the Cardassian reference, that my partner came in from the other room to check I wasn't dying. My record for stupid non-injuries, is I broke my ankle, in 8 places - stepping over a threshold in a shop. I just fell over, i have no idea how or why i fell, but it broke my ankle. We are doomed I tell you, DOOMED!
ReplyDeleteI fell over from a standing still position and ended up with 3 surgeries on my elbow--2 to deal with the broken bone and plate, and one to completely reroute the ulnar nerve. My funny bone is now in a different place on that arm! Also, my ears are so pressure sensitive, I have to sleep on those squishy microbead pillows, or else the ear pain is tremendous. I even travel with one! Hope your ear recovers soon, and thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteThe neck sprain thing, isn't that something that everyone gets? (Based on the comments everyone obviously get the ear pain! haha) I feel like I've pulled my neck many times over the years, either while sleeping or just reaching for something that dropped on the floor, and I can barely turn it for days.
ReplyDeleteOne time I woke up and had the worst shooting neck pain if I tried to shift my weight at all. My poor teacher husband had to quickly get stuff together for a sub so he could take the day off! (We had two little ones at home to watch)
I have an awful zit inside my ear and it hurts a lot when I move my ear at all. So. You're not alone at all. Maybe you catch them via the internet?
ReplyDeleteThis post is just so lol. >:>
ReplyDeleteWouldn't the world be a better place if every reference to the Khardashians was replaced by Cardassians? I think that would be awesome. Robot Chicken has to have done some kind of parody about this, right? And for anyone with ear sleeping issues, I've got a Sobakawa pillow, the original kind with buckwheat hulls, and one of the nifty things about it is that you can create a dent in the surface where your ear can fit! In fact, you can shape them in a multitude of ways, and I absolutely love mine. Haven't tried the newer 'cloud' pillows, with the little microfiber balls, but I bet they might do the same thing. Anyway, keep up the great work Jen, this was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I couldn't pronounce Cardassians, so I called them crustations. Dad might've disowned me for a while.
ReplyDeleteOk. Here goes:
ReplyDeleteDo you wear earrings to sleep? Because maybe the pain is from GOLD-PRESSED FLATTEN 'EM?
I know. I know. I'll show myself out... :-)
I LOVE it! Twice now, I've done whole belly laughs over that. Just read it to my hubby, and he's not nearly as appreciative of puns as I am, poor soul.
Delete"Odo she didn't!" Hahahahahaha!! Perfect!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your hurt ear and your maybe ear zit, Jen. Those hurt, I know. Hope it has resolved itself by now. I'm quite the late commenter on this post.
Since everyone has been sharing tales of their clumsy awkwardness, I have a good one. Anyone else ever been vigorously washing or applying lotion to your face and accidentally and painfully drive a pinkie finger knuckle-deep into your nostril? Yeah, really. Oh, more times than I care to admit, and usually when I'm half asleep. Nothing like a little searing pain to start or end the day.
Thanks for the hilarious post and the DS9 references! Feel better soon, little ear!
KW
I frequently fall off the edge of my shoes...like, I'll be walking along and just slip ungracefully off the sole.
ReplyDeleteI used to wake up about once a night sobbing with pain because I'd sleep on my side, then roll over and get agonising pins & needles in my ear. There is actually a pillow with a divot for your ears which has pretty much changed my life.
ReplyDeletei am just working my way thru DS9 for the first time, and may have cackled way more than appropriate at "Odo she didn't". gold indeed.
ReplyDeleteI had a pimple in my ear once...it was massive and gross, but so so satisfying to pop.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I shared that story.
This post, and the comments, are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, my younger brother and I would hide from our mom when she came home from work [to this day, I still love jumping out to scare people]. One time I was on the couch, sitting on my hands because they were cold, when I heard my mom come home -- my upper body lurched forward to go find a hiding place, but the rest of my body decided to rebel and stayed planted on the couch, and I partially dislocated both of my own shoulders -- when I fell on my face on the floor they both popped back into place. I think it's safe to say no one else in the history of clumsiness has ever done that.
Eleven years ago next month, I was jogging into the house trying to get out of the snow, while wearing Chucks*, after picking up my mom from work [uh… mayhaps my mom having a job is a problem for me?]; I stepped into a slush puddle, then into snow, and my foot slipped and folded in half -- literally -- I felt my toes touch my heel. Everyone in my family thought I'd just sprained something, but I knew it was broken -- I was right, I had a Lisfranc fracture and ended up with surgically implanted [temporary] pins and [permanent] screws, and bonus major arthritis in my foot and ankle that still pains me every day. Yay for being right? [*Important, because it probably wouldn't have been as bad of an injury if I'd been wearing more weather-appropriate footwear.]
I could go on and on -- I'm a total klutz, and injure myself in weird ways all of the time. :-P
i have managed, while laying in bed reading this post, to pull the muscle i always pull. it's the one on your back, over the ribs on the right hand side. breathing is a little painful right now. XD
ReplyDeletei end up pulling it because i always pull it, which is why it's the one i always pull. if that makes any sense.
if you pull a muscle once, it's easier to pull again, and every time you do, it gets easier. yeah.
i once pulled this muscle while sitting perfectly still, while playing civilization 2. sitting perfectly still. all i was doing was /breathing/.
yep. i'm awesome.