Going Medieval

Saturday we drove up to St.Petersburg, FL, where my big brother Ben lives. There we ate too much Chinese food, drove around downtown counting the plaster seahorses on houses (and debating whether anyone would mind my prying one off with a crow bar), and then walking along the Bay watching a pod of dolphins play in the waters just off shore. All in all, a nice, relaxing day.

Sunday, it was Ren Faire time. (Forsooth!)

Sadly our day was cut short when I nearly fainted while being laced into a corset*, but I still have some fun photos to share. (And no, none are of me in a corset. Sorry/you're welcome.)


*I wish I could say "it's a long story," but actually that's about the sum total of it right there.

Upon first entering the grounds we spotted the May Pole dancers:

Love the colors.

Next we stumbled on a Nature-show-esque display by these two:

Here the two females have spotted their quarry, and begin cat-calling and posing, um, "suggestively."

The terrified objects of their attention skirt by as fast as their legs will take them, studiously ignoring the pair's advances.

The females continue to vocalize their undying devotion, and promise to hold their breath until the men return. (They don't. Either of them.) (And yes, that IS a peanut shoved up the one girl's nose.)

So...yeah. That there pretty well sums up the general "vibe" of the Renaissance Festival. :D

Oh, but looky what I spotted!

[singing] Whatever it is I thiiink I see, becomes awesome Steampunk for me!

A few more colorful characters:

I had a pleasant conversation with this guy. Most people in costume there stay completely in character, which often gets awkward. He managed it with good humor, though, unlike some of the town drunks* and battle ogres and whatnot.

*I debated putting "drunks" in quotes. After some consideration....nah.

Speaking of which, this goblin was being led around by a little princess:

It was pretty funny watching her grab him by his sword and drag him off after her.

A pretty parasol vendor:


These fairies were also fully in character, demanding to know the name of the "magic man in your box," (ie my camera):



Leave it to me to find a giant seahorse at a Ren Fair:


And a miniature rooster:


There was also a hawk rescue organization there with three tiny
hawks
falcons:



It was breezy, so they kept their wings outstretched. Not sure if that was for balance or for show.

We didn't get to see any shows (boo!) but we did catch this guy's "Lamb Wow!" pitch:

Yep, a medieval themed Shamwow parody. It was great. He was midway through his bit when we wandered by, and he immediately honed in on me, waving us forward all the way to the front. Then he asked, "Are you following this, camera girl?" Followed quickly by, "Thank God you're here; I've been waiting to use that line ALL DAY." Ha!


The funny thing about the Fair is how it turns your regular average guys into mall-shopping girls. By which I mean: they have to try on EVERYTHING. I think I spent half my time waiting on Ben or John or both to get strapped into some leather armor, or try on new gauntlets, or swing around big two-handed broad swords. It was adorable. In a manly way, of course.

MANLY.

(And Ben may look grumpy, but he's actually giggling like a school girl on the inside.)

The guys also took it upon themselves to engage in all the "throw something dangerous!" games: first axes, then throwing stars, and finishing up with knives. They both managed to strike the targets with all of them, while I stood by taking pictures and wondering how anyone could ever afford insurance for these things. (I suspect the answer is: they don't.)

And here they are, my mighty warriors:

Oh yeah. This one is totally getting printed out and framed.

(That's hubby on the left, brother on the right.)


One of my favorite things at Ren Fairs are the busking entertainers. Just look at this creepy statue:

He remained totally still even while being poked and prodded by inquisitive passers-by.

Until, that is, they actually passed by:

Creeepy. And usually, the person walking by had no idea he was turning to watch them.

Then there was this guy:

Also creepy. From behind he blended in perfectly with the moss-covered trees.

But my favorite was the living fountain:

You can't tell by the photo, but this lady actually had a water spout in her hair, so there was water trickling down her entire body. Her head was angled so the water didn't get in her face, but I imagine it was still a less-than-comfortable sensation. Then again, it *was* pretty hot out, so maybe not.

The best part, though, was when her performance time was up. Her handler then lifted her off the pedestal and loaded her onto a hand truck to wheel off, while she remained (almost) perfectly rigid.

Talk about dedication! That does *not* look comfortable.

And here's one last beauty shot of her:

And that was my abbreviated day at the Renaissance Festival! It's there through April, if any of you fellow Floridians care to make the drive. To be honest, we might even go again, since I didn't feel well enough to really enjoy the day, and also because barely anyone was there. It was supposed to rain all day (and didn't) so parts of the Festival looked like a ghost town. I'd have loved to see more guests in costume. So, if we get another free weekend this month, you might be seeing more medieval pics.


Oh, and before any of you ask: yes, I bought the corset. My first one! Although I wonder if the sales ladies ever use swooning to their advantage. "Oh, are you feeling faint? Well, if you just bought that corset you're trying on I'd be GLAD to take it off you..."

(No, that's not what happened. Although feeling faint *does* rush a few decisions. Wish I'd felt well enough to try a few other styles, too...)