Or perhaps I should of say dental tools, and the bone achingly awful pain they inflict. But then, the dentists are the ones who wield the tools, so...
Yeah. Primal fear of dentists.
A cleaning? Nooooooo!!!!I had braces as a teenager to correct my two crooked vampire teeth (technical term). The braces worked for one of them. Looking back on the experience, I think I can safely say I'd rather exchange that year of metal mouth misery for my crooked tooth back. At least then I'd have a balanced set, and maybe my self-appointed nickname (DJ, for Dracula Junior. [And yes, I know it sucked. (bah-dum-cha!)]) would've stuck.
Still, for all the pain, I didn't really mind going to the dentist back then. Even when I had to have oral surgery to remove some wisdom teeth and "expose" a few back molars (translation: ouch), I found the whole experience rather thrilling.
Dude. The colors.I got to wear one of those ridiculous head strap things with pouches sewn in to hold ice packs, and my whole face swelled up like a chipmunk, and I just couldn't *wait* to go to church that weekend to show it all off. Heh.
In college, though, things took a darker turn: cavities. Ug. I have a very clear memory of laying back in the dentist chair, the sound of that awful drill grinding through my skull, sharp twangy pain radiating through my jaw, and tears dripping down my temples and into my ears. Wimpy? Yep, that's me. Plus it was my first medical procedure since I'd left home, so I was there by myself. No one waiting to greet me in the waiting room. No one to drive me home. No one to bring me Tylenol in bed, or even to remind me to take it.
Suddenly, the dentist represented everything awful about "growing up."
About two years ago I had to have a filling replaced. I stupidly didn't mention the health issues I'd been having to the doctor beforehand, figuring they wouldn't matter with such a simple procedure. [The 'idiot' threat level is currently at: RED] Yeeeah. The result of my stupidity? A bad reaction to the numbing shot in my gums. They had to tip my head down with my feet way high in the air to keep me conscious, and my whole body shook for about 25 minutes. My own fault, of course, but the experience did little to enamor me with the parlor of purple gloves and power tools.
Now, for the past three years - or since the harrowing ER visit that changed my life* - John has made it a point to accompany me to every doctor visit, no matter how routine. Every one. One time he almost didn't; it was just a simple OB-GYN check up, and I assured him I'd be fine - I wasn't even nervous. He came along anyway. That visit the doctor mixed up the paperwork: instead of a pap she conducted an endometrial biopsy on me, and with no warning. I don't want to go into the gory details, but suffice to say John vowed then and there he would never again even consider skipping one of my doctor appointments.
So, getting back to my main point:
Guess where I had to go last Thursday?
[Dum dum duummmm]
Now, when you're deathly afraid of dentists, it helps to
a) take a Xanax (I only use it in emergencies, but I think this qualified)
b) have an amazing dentist (Dr. Tran, you rock.)
c) be married to John.
Our dentist has a tiny little cubicle area where he works on patients. There's barely room for the patient chair and two stools: one for Dr. Tran, and one for his assistant. To fit in there with us, John would have to stand by my legs. To hold my clammy hands the entire time, he would have to either crouch or stoop over me at a back-murdering angle - to the point that the dentist might have to pause from time to time to see how *John* was doing. And to last like that for a solid hour and a half? Well, clearly, John would have to be just plain crazy.
Reason #204: John is just plain crazy.
I'll take hand-holding at the dentist over roses and jewelry any time. How about you guys? What's the sweetest thing a friend or loved one has ever done for you? Tell me your stories in the comments!
*No, you haven't missed anything; I've never talked about the ER thing here or on CW. I did mention it once in this old interview, though, if you're curious.
I was sick this last valentines day and my moms was still badgering me to come over so besides waiting on me hand and foot all day my B/F strapped a teddy bear in the driver seat and told me Teddy needed the car so we couldn't go anywhere.
ReplyDeleteCheesy but really cute and I was amazed to go out to the car to see the Teddy just sitting there all buckled in and everything.
One time I was just in a bad mood. No reason just grumpy. My sister in law wanderd in to our hous and asked "Why is Dave washing your car?" I blinked at her in surprise and said "I don't know." Turned out he noticed I was grumpy and just thought he'd do something nice for me.
ReplyDeleteso just before i got married, i had an emergency root canal, due to an abcess (i, too, am afraid of dentists, and put off going for a long time despite a growing toothache & a strange change in my bite), and my then husband-to-be was so awesome through the whole thing (and i was so terrified) that "and will hold my hand at the dentist" was appended to "in sickness in health" in our wedding vows...
ReplyDeleteD'awwwww!!!! I'm not looking forward to the days when I am forced to make my way to the dentist alone...Maybe I'll call my mom up and have her drive to another state and come with me. :)
ReplyDeleteI have a completely irrational fear of the dentist. I also had braces, mine lasted about three years though and I never really recovered from all the bleeding gums, rubberbands, tightening of wires and moving of teeth. My first orthodontist was a nightmare which didn't help, my second was kind and gentle but I was already scarred. I can completely relate though, my DH sits with me in the room when I go. Probably because if he didn't drive me I would probably just go to the mall instead.
ReplyDeleteI think the kindest thing anyone was done for me was a random gesture from a co-worker. We weren't very close, he was not someone I would consider a friend at all:
I had some car problems and found myself on the phone with a mechanic at work. The prognosis was not good. After going back and forth with the mechanic and my DH we finally decided that the repairs needed to be made but our budget was going to take a major hit.
It was one of those moments where you stuff something in your mouth to try to prevent the tears. That never works. We were in cubicles only feet apart so I'm sure I was the main topic of gossip that day. My mini breakdown being the most exciting thing that had happened since the garbage disposal broke in the kitchen the day before.
I collected myself though and went home for lunch. When I got back my co-worker handed me an envelope. Like I said, we weren't close, so I was kind of caught off guard. I opened it and it was full of cash. We work on commission and it was no secret i did MUCH better than him in sales. That only made the gesture that much kinder. It really made my heart just break- it was so random and just so KIND.
We really didn't need the money, we would be able to get by, it was just a knocking us off track. So after refusing to take the money about a million times, he finally put it away. It was absolutely one of the nicest things anyone has done, because I didn't ask, we didn't really no each other, and in reality, I should have been helping him out.
Moments like that restore my faith in people. Then I see the Jersey shore and I am back where I started :)
I love John too--in an "anonymous-internet-reader-to-husband-of-a-favorite-blogger" kind of way, and because I'm a dental wimp, too; not as extremely as you, Jen, but then again, I don't have as good cause to be as you do. I just don't like fingers in my mouth, or pain, or when they push on my teeth because I'm afraid they're going to come out or snap off like twigs. John is "good people," and I am glad that you have him (and he has you.) In fact, you guys are two of my favorite people whom I've never met. OK, sappy gushing over. :-)
ReplyDeleteBefore I married my 2nd husband (yeah, I suck at being married) he gave me the Best Valentine's Present Ever. The driver's side seatbelt in my car had given up the ghost -- the buckle had broken and it wouldn't stay buckled. My 2nd Ex combed through junk yards to find a replacement seatbelt, AND installed it for me all without my knowing. It was very Romantical.
ReplyDeleteThis same Ex gave me Another Best Valentine's Present Ever. We lived in Michigan, Land of the Snow, and our garage door required one to exit the car, trudge through 6" of snow and yank up very hard on the door to get the garage door to open. I was pregnant, and for Valentine's Day that year he installed an automatic garage door opener. Again - Very Romantical.
Of course, that was the extent of it in the Romantical Department. Hence the whole "Ex-Husband" stuff.
Here Comes Dr Tran!
ReplyDeleteI had major surgery last year and, one day after discharge, I became violently ill at home due to a complication from the surgery. My husband stayed up with me all night, calling my doctors, holding my hair back when I was sick - he was amazing. He was still amazing when I was re-admitted to the hospital the next day. He was practically running while pushing me in a wheelchair across the hospital lobby towards admissions. He stayed by my side well into the night again. I ended up being fine, but without him by my side, I don't think I could have come through it as well.
ReplyDelete@ Jen - Ha! I'd never seen that before! It's NSFW, though, in case anyone else decides to click on the link.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I got sick as an adult on her own, I got so dehydrated and weak that I passed out trying to get to the bathroom. I managed to slink to where my cell phone was and a friend came to my rescue at two in the morning with a giant, iced bottle of Sprite. Never have I felt so grateful for friendship and lemon-lime sugar water.
ReplyDeleteJohn is pretty darn spiffy. Yay! :)
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI'm a retired dentist. I always felt bad that people disliked us so much. I'm also sorry that you had such a bad experience. The upside, though, is that you know who your friends are. You were so very lucky to find John, and I know you do the same for him. That's sorta what the whole marriage thing is about.
Love your blog, thank you for sharing!
I hate dentists and doctors with a passion, so when I started having horrible pain on my right side, I was content to crouch on the floor with my cat and cry. When my hubs came home and saw me, he immediately made sure I was dressed (thanks!), put me in the car and rushed me to the ER (which was 2 blocks away). My entire gallbladder was full of stones and inflammed and had to come out. Now, my hubs is a sweet guy, but this is just funny - after my surgery while I was in recovery, I had a reaction to the anesthesia and my heart was racing. They wouldn't let him in to see me, so he threatened the doctor (not that he would have done anything). I know that sounds horrible, but when the nurses came in and asked if the "angry guy in the waiting room" was with me, I said yes proudly. I thought it was hilarious that he would risk getting arrested in order to see me! And really, he wouldn't have hurt anyone, he was glad they all helped me out!
ReplyDeleteI recently had an experience with vertigo/labrynthitis. This is probably way TMI, but I'd vomit with every step. Literally. And if I didn't have someone/something to support me, I wouldn't even be able to take the step. I didn't open my eyes for 3 days.
ReplyDeleteMy Hubby was there literally every step of the way. He cleaned up nasty messes and would walk me along by facing me with his arms around my waist and my arms on his shoulders. He'd walk backward as I walked forward. Very slowly. Stopping to vomit with every step. He'd even hold the bucket for me. (again, TMI. Sorry)
It was especially meaningful because we had recently stopped divorce proceedings to give our marriage another try. The fact that he was willing to be there for me and so hands-on helped heal our relationship.
Now, 2 months later, I still have dizziness. I'm not able to drive and have to have a wall or something nearby to walk a straight line. He drives me everywhere without complaint.
Another time, several years ago, I was going back to school at the age of 31. I was completely overwhelmed and frustrated. In fact, I called him in tears saying that I was going to quit because I just couldn't cut it. When I got home, he and our children rolled out a "red carpet" (red wrapping paper) that led to the bathroom where he'd drawn me a hot bath. On a little stool was a plate of chocolates and my CD player with relaxing music playing softly. When I got out of my bath, Hubby had my ultimate comfort food hot and ready: homemade pizza.
I could share more, but this is getting to be a blog post all on my own! ;)
Well, I haven't found Mr. Right so I can only tell you about some tremendously sweet girlfriends who helped me out this year. Back in January I threw my back out about 10 days before a scheduled first-ever colonoscopy (which I was scared of anyway). A few days before a friend picked me up, got me Chinese take-out for lunch, and plopped me in her comfy leather recliner to watch a DVD while she did my laundry. Another friend got up to drive me to the appointment at 7:30AM, sat and waited until 10:00 for me, then took me home and watched TV/catnapped on the sofa with me all afternoon to be sure I was ok.
ReplyDelete(@Abby, I want a cool LEGO Batgirl like you've got...too cute!)
When I was Very Pregnant and stuck on bed rest with my first child, a friend of mine came over and while she was there just decided to clean my bathroom for me, since I couldn't. Just out of the blue, decided to help. My husband could have done it, and would have eventually, but she knew I'd be happier with a clean tub and that my husband was picking up a lot of slack already, so she did it for me (while her two little girls "read" me stories, so sweet!).
ReplyDeleteI am a huge photo dork. I refer to my camera as the love of my life. My significant other and one of my best friends decided that my frustration with my current (5 year old) camera was unnecessary and worked together to get everyone we know to chip in to buy me a new camera. The best friend put in half the cost of the dSLR and the significant other sent out a mass mailing to everyone we know to see if they'd chip in something. From what I've heard, they're raised enough.
ReplyDeleteI read the story about your ER visit and boy, do I feel for you. I have a heart condition that gives me a rapid, irregular heart rate with 150-250+ beats per minute. But I've never had an episode last more than fifteen minutes or so-- I can't imagine it lasting five hours!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope that someday I have someone who is as good to me as your John is to you :)
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI also have "panic attacks", that started almost exactly like yours. The doctors are stumped.....my chiropractor however was not! There is a nerve that runs up you spine and under your collar bone that helps regulate your heartbeat....it took 3 months but my chiro was able to straighten my back (which was ridiculously out of whack) which also virtually stopped the racing heartbeat. As long as I go back regularly I don't have many issues. I didn't go for 3 months and sure enough, I had to fall back on my Xanax and Flexeril......maybe something to try if you haven't already?
My husband has done so many sweet things, I wouldn't even know where to start. One of the sweetest things I can ever remember is that we were doing the wishbone from a turkey a few years ago and we both made our wish. I got the big half and he said that I won either way because his wish was that my wish would come true. Any time I get mad at him for anything, I just remember that.
ReplyDelete*wipes tear* SWEET!!
ReplyDeleteMy pediatrician husband & I tried for more than 3 years to have children, including several infertility procedures. After finally getting pregnant after our 5th in-vitro, my membranes ruptured at 25 wks. The next 7-1/2 weeks were spent FLAT ON MY BACK in the peri-partum ward. During those 7-1/2 weeks, he missed coming to the hospital only 5 days - 3 were due to work, the other 2 were when I begged my brother-in-law to take him away for a weekend break. During my complete bedrest, he took it upon himself to change my sheets & give me my bedbaths, every other day, religiously. It took the better part of an hour, I was only allowed to roll, NO sitting or moving in any way that would put pressure on my abdomen. It may not seem like much, but I felt so loved, so nurtured. I asked him once why he did it; he said, "So much of this pregnancy has been out of our control. It's the one thing I feel *I* can do to make this easier on you, to take some small part in the sacrifice you're making." We were rewarded with the most wonderful tiny baby boy who just celebrated his 8th birthday & a 13-year marriage that is stronger today than it has ever been.
ReplyDeleteMy Hubby and I went to South Carolina for Thanksgiving with the in-laws. We live in Ohio, land of weather unpredictable, and it was in the 60s right before we left, so I forgot to switch the heat on. By the time we returned, it was in the lower 40s and our house was at 58 degrees. I HATE the cold, so Hubby immediately started a fire in the fireplace.
ReplyDeleteAn hour later, I still had to pee, but I didn't want to sit on an icy toilet seat. I told Hubby and moments later he disappeared, and I found him sitting fully clothed on the toilet trying to warm the seat up for me. <3
Add the nitrous oxide to the mix and you've got my recipe for a cleaning- (although it's Bob and not John who accompanies me)
ReplyDeleteNo good cause- just extremely sensitive to the vibrations of the tools rattling in my head.
One thing that sticks out was something my roommates did, sophomore year of college. I had gotten pregnant over the summer and a lot of my friends from high school either said nasty things or just weren't there at all. When I moved into my dorm room (it was a quad-4 ppl), everyone was ready to do anything to help me and one girl gave me a gift of special lotions.
ReplyDeleteI did marry the father of my child, and he's now 9 and we have two more children. I never would have been able to finish college without my friends. My husband worked long hours with a long commute and my friends watched our child for free, drove us to doctor appointments, babysat while I did laundry, came to my apt for study sessions, etc, etc.
[sniffle] You guys are making me go through the tissues. Love it!
ReplyDelete@ Anony 5:14 - Fascinating! I've actually been considering a visit to a chiropractor for back & neck pain (18 hrs a day at a computer, doncha know) so maybe I'll buckle down and make the app soon. I do have some underlying internal imbalances that we're treating, but I'm learning it's often a combination of things rather than one easily diagnosable culprit. Anyway, thanks for the tip!
I too am deathly afraid of dentists (and teeth stuff in general), it stems from a tooth I had removed by the most A*#hole of dentists you could ever imagine. I was 9 or 10 and he just asked my "what I wanted done" didn't even bother looking in my mouth before hand, and that was the nicest part of the visit. Now I cant even watch anything on TV or movies that even involve teeth or dentists even animated stuff! You should see if one of my daughters has a loose tooth, I practically climb the walls if they show me, my hubby thinks its funny.
ReplyDeleteAw, John is a good guy! In college my then-boyfriend (now husband) Dan stayed with me all night in the hospital. My dad told me he knew Dan was the one for me that night. He is just perfect for me!
ReplyDeleteMine happened a month ago just about when I went in for major surgery on my ankle. My fiance knew I was really scared about the whole ordeal and it was a high stress situation with the surgery alone, but on top of that, my grandmother was dying in the hospital across the street (she died three days afterwards). So needless to say I was pretty freaked out about the whole situation. So she went and talked to my parents who were also going to be at the surgery center with me to drive me home and stuff, and totally suprised me by being at my side when I woke up (in the cosplay I met her in too~) so I'd have to say that totally tops the list :)
ReplyDeleteJim is doing it right now: putting up the Christmas lights in the yard while I supervise from the living room window, with a cup of tea. "A little more red on the left side! No, no, the green ones are hanging down too low!" He's a gem, that guy.
ReplyDeleteMy college boyfriend, whom I dated for four years, was always very sweet and thoughtful; he, rather unfortunately, had to deal with an unmedicated me throughout most of those four years (I suffer from severe depression but have been on the up and up for about 7 years thanks to both medication and therapy). Anyway, one Friday night my junior year, I got sick to my stomach. Very sick to my stomach. Luckily, the bathroom was right by my dorm room and relatively private. My b/f spent the night on the hard floor next to my bed to make sure I'd be ok but had to leave the next morning to take care of his own things.
ReplyDeleteThat (Saturday) afternoon, after being able to keep no food, water, or even ice down, I passed out returning from the bathroom in my open doorway, banging myself up on my desk, bed, and chair on the way down. I had never fainted before and fortunately I was not out long; I recovered long enough to shut the door and fall asleep in the niche between the bed and desk. My b/f had been checking on me every few hours since the morning and was mortified to find me on the floor.
Within the next few hours, security had to come and transport me next door to health services; I was so severely dehydrated that I received two IV's. My b/f stayed with me the whole time in health services, held my hand while I rested with the IV in my arm, and refused to leave my side for the next few days, continuing to sleep on my dorm room floor just to make sure I could hold down fluids and eventually food again.
I do not know if I ever thanked him properly for all of his help. I sincerely hope he knows how much I appreciated every minute he spent looking after me. Though we broke up years ago, we still keep in contact as friends; I know sometimes his actions years ago were driven by an attempt to placate me (as mentioned, I was kinda crazy), but his behavior during that weekend in particular showed his true nature - a thoughtful, caring, attentive, unselfish human being who would do his best to help somebody he cared about.
Jen, you are extraordinarily lucky to have a husband who cares so much for you; we all strive to find such a love, but how many of us truly find somebody with whom we can be truly selfless (and who will in return be just as selfless)? I enjoy all of your CW and Epbot posts - particularly if they cover Doctor Who, Star Wars, or Harry Potter. And throwing a little extra Steampunk in there never hurts either...
I thought i would share, today is my/our wedding anniversary we have been married 6 yrs and 7hrs and 25mins to the day. He was my first boyfriend at 17 and has been my best friend since the day we met. Your husband reminds me of mine in the way its the little things that make me in awe of him and makes me never want to be without him.
ReplyDeleteps thank you for your blog you make me smile every time i read it.. also i am very jealous about you penny shelf! x
My story falls way into the TMI area so I'll just say that my husband took the "in sickness" part to heart and never lets me down.
ReplyDeleteMy fear of the dentist is deeply rooted. I was born with a cleft palate so people have had their hands in my mouth since the day I was born. I've had 2 surgeries, braces, teeth pulled, and oh I have to stop now. Just talking about the dentist makes me a little queazy.
So, as a 19 year old college student, I don't find it surprising that I haven't found my one and only, but I have the best roomie in the world.
ReplyDeleteIt started with small notes every once in a while on our white board, silly little nonsensical things that would make me smile. Or, she would hand me a juice box if I was down. She would stay up with me when my homework made me stay up all night, because she could. Then, this past week the clinical depression I have been suffering from nearly got the better from me. I was crying and writing a suicide note when I realized I couldn't just leave her like that, as she already had abandonment issues from a nasty parental divorce.
So after class, I met up with her, and spilled all that I had been holding in. She helped me put myself back together, and then marched my mopey butt to the campus psychologist to start getting the help I needed, whether I wanted it or not.
The effort she put into keeping me able through this first college semester has been the sweetest thing anyone has done because she had no obligation to me, seeing we just met the day we moved into the dorms.
So, basically Kelli saved my life and is the sister of my heart. And sometimes, we pretend to be dinosaurs together.
My husband buys me things for the kitchen, like a zester, or an extra bowl for my KA stand mixer, "just because." He also doesn't mind it when my mom comes for a visit and stays a week or two.
ReplyDeletePS - Ok, you think your dental experiences growing up were bad, try having ALL of your baby teeth except for 1 pulled because the roots didn't dissolve. Try having the dentist yanking at a tooth so hard your head is wrenched violently from side to side until with a viciously loud CRACK the root breaks free from the jaw (something that the novacain does not prevent you from feeling, BTW) and the tooth finally comes out with a nice sucking POP from the gums. Not all of the baby teeth were that stubborn, but none of them came out easily.
Oh, and speaking of baby teeth, I had fillings in most of them. I had twelve cavities filled between the ages of 3 and 5.
Bizarrely, my early childhood dental experiences have yielded me totally unfazed by the dentist. Even when I was having the teeth yanked, the orthodontist doing weird things with wires and rubber bands and head gear, or the oral surgeon removing my impacted wisdom teeth.
As for teeth cleanings. I LOVE them! I'd go every week if I could afford it.
Oh, and I have never had a cavity since my childhood days. My adult teeth are perfectly healthy.
PPS - I have some harrowing OBGYN stories I could tell you, too, but they're kinda gross.
I've got a few....all from hubby. Our first haloween together he got called in to work last minute so I got stuck hanging out with his friends at their party alone. He brought me home a ginormous stack of comic books. And just last week I came home from work and was in a lot of pain. He took me to the ER and knowing my fear of stupid doctors trying to draw blood (I was used as a pincushion last time I had to go to the ER) he stood over the nurse and as soon as she went for the third try he made her go get someone who had a better record. That second girl heard about my being scared and she was so careful. She got the vein in the first try and I barely felt it. ^_^ I don't know who she is but she was super sweet. So was the officer watching the guy in the room next to where they had me. He sat and chatted with me for almost five hours! People are good after all. I'd almost forgotten.
ReplyDeleteOMG do I have some history with dentists! I had braces in the 2nd grade, until the 8th grade, with one year off in between. So a total of 6 years. I had braces when I didn't even have adult teeth! I had the whole shebang, braces, rubber bands, headgear (2 kinds!), retainers, you name it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 12, the dentist wanted to take off my braces "just to see what happens". Well, guess what? I needed them back on again. But before that, I had 4 teeth pulled to make room for the other teeth to move. They removed 2 from one side the first time, let it heal, then did the other side. It was so excruciating, no amount of novocaine would numb me. My dad sat with me while I cried as the dentist attempted to yank out the two last teeth.
I've also had probably half a dozen cavities over the years. Once I was eating spaghetti and a filling came out. Another time I had a Blow-Pop and my "permanent" bottom retainer popped off.
I also suffer from TMJ, and my jaw sometimes likes to stick wide open. I've had dentists shave down my teeth to correct my bite, with no improvement.
The ironic thing is, I don't dread going to the dentist. I figure after all that I've had done, what else can they do to me? Plus, when I was a kid, if I had a good checkup, my mom would take me out for ice cream after the dentist. I always thought it was counter-productive, but I didn't complain either :)
I think the sweetest thing some friends ever did for me was when I was going through my 4th loss in a series of 6 miscarriages. I hit rock bottom emotionally. These two friends who lived hundreds and hundreds of miles away packed up their kids (2 kids each), dropped their lives, and drove to be with me. They spent over a week with me and my family and helped me get through that hell.
ReplyDeleteJohn totally rocks!
pirategeek9, THAT is true love! (Or twu wuv!)
ReplyDeleteDoc Anne, I want to say that while I dislike dental procedures, I like my dentist very much; he never does unnecessary procedures, and he goes out of his way for his patients--he met me at his office one Sunday morning to replace a crown that had fallen off, and while visiting his BIL near my son's college town, borrowed his BIL's dental office to put my son's crown in (which he took along from his own office.) I love my hygienist because she discovered the cancerous tumor on my tongue 2 1/2 years ago.
My hubby has slept on the floor or in uncomfortable chairs next to my bed while I was in labor, after my car accident, and after tongue surgery. While I was recovering from surgery at home, he slept in an uncomfortable single bed in an unfinished room so his snoring wouldn't keep me awake.
Mine was two yeas ago. It was Halloween Night, and I had just gotten a call from my mother that my only sibling, the little brother I was waiting to join me at University, had been killed in a car accident. My best friend dropped everything the second she heard and drove the two hours from her university to mine so that I wouldn't have to make the four hour drive back home alone. Not only that, but she took a week off of school in the middle of exams to stay with me every second, for the wake, the funeral, everything.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know how I would have gotten through that without her.
In 2006, my grandmother (the awesome lady who raised me) passed away right before Christmas. I was beyond devistated.
ReplyDeleteMy then husband didn't really know what to say or do so he just sort of hovered and nodded at what seemed like appropriate times while I cried and mumbled things about being sad.
But he also completely took over the care of our son and our home.
Not to mention myself as the stress of losing my one and only 'parent' took it's toll on me and I ended up with a nasty sinus infection.
But the sweetest thing he ever did happened at the cemetary.
He not only stepped up to be a last minute paul-bearer, but he uttered the sweetest words after the service.
You see I didn't want to leave. I just couldn't leave her there (a feeling that still haunts me).
He just stood beside me and grabbed my hand and said, "We'll stay as long as you like."
He wasn't teary eyed, he wasn't all moony and gushey as he said it. The words were just matter-of-fact and completely true.
I know he would have stood there with me all night if I needed him to.
And although we've been through hell and are currently going through a divorce and he's moved on with another woman...I can look back at that moment and still see him as my hero.
I was knocked out with a kidney stone once for three weeks. I had been to doctor after doctor and none had figured out it was actually a kidney stone, and my meds we not up to the task of relieving the pain. My stomach was in knots from the pain and I didn't eat for three weeks.
ReplyDeleteOver those three weeks my husband made jello, insisted that I drink that Ensure if it took me all day, made sure I didn't fall asleep in the tub (the only thing that relieved the pain was the tub), and generally took care of everything.
After it was all over her said to me, "I wish I could go back in time and tell you that you were going to be OK."
I think one of the most surprising acts of niceness that's happened to me came when I was in high school. I wasn't the most popular girl, and in the morning a girl who lived down the street usually picked me up on the way to school. We weren't really friends, and one day she didn't go to school but didn't call to let me know she wasn't coming, either.
ReplyDeleteI wound up walking to school, which was a few miles away. I was tired, frustrated, angry, and close to tears by the time I trooped into school, nearly an hour late. I had one of those mornings where I felt like nobody cared. I walked into my AP English Lit class, which had all of 8 people in it, and one of the girls turned to me and said "Sarah, what's wrong?" as I walked in the door, which led to me bursting into tears. I was half-hysterical, and the teacher quickly ushered everyone out of the room, sat me down, and made me a cup of tea and let me talk it all out as I needed to.
It was so simple, that cup of tea. I felt completely ridiculous for being so upset, but I just had the weight of the world on me that day, and something so uncomplicated as a cup of tea really changed the entire day. That teacher has always had a fond place in my heart, and ever since then I've had a deep fondness for a good cup of hot tea. It never ceases to amaze me how people can touch our lives with caring.
My boyfriend will do almost anything to spend time with me. I signed up for a cake decorating class, and purposely signed up for an evening when he usually worked late...and then it turned out that he was off that whole day. So he came over after I got done with work, drove me to the cake class, and then took me out for dinner afterward.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I wonder why Wilton doesn't teach the #1 rule I have learned from Cake Wrecks: NEVER put chocolate icing in an icing bag. EVER.
Ahh, you've got a good one Jen!
ReplyDeleteMy DH is there for me for the big things (4 surgeries, funerals, etc), waits on me hand and foot, in fact, but what I love the most is how he spoils me with little things every day of my life. All the stupid little things that he knows I dislike--pumping gas, folding laundry, killing those gargantuan tree roaches when they get in the house--he makes it his mission to make sure I never have to do. I'm perfectly capable of doing them, and I have absolutely no legitimate reason not to do them, but my DH does it all willingly without complaint.
Add to that all the little things he does just because (bringing my towel to the shower so I don't have to step out of the warmth on a cold morning to dry off, running to the kitchen to get me a drink just so I don't have to get up, going to the craft store with me, even though that's his idea of hell *grin*), and I feel utterly spoiled every day of my life!
As hard as I try to spoil him as much as he spoils me, I don't think I could ever begin to catch up, but fortunately he loves me anyway!
In our first year of marriage, my husband made the grave error of telling me housework relaxed him. I gleefully responded that I supported this relaxation technique and would not do anything to impede his relaxation time. Since then, he does almost all of the housework (I'm his Dobby now and then, but not too often).
ReplyDeleteThis is compounded by the fact that I am a walking tornado. My mother called me "Hurricane Debbie." I can walk into a pristine room and leave a path of destruction behind. It's a horrible, horrible gift. Or curse. I like to think I'm encouraging my husband's relaxation. :)
After 15 years of marriage (and going strong!) he never complains about my destructive tendencies. He just picks up after me. He is my best friend, my confidante, and did I mention so handsome he looks like he walked off the cover of GQ and into my arms? He's a professor and his female students tend to have crushes on him.
Now, before you think I'm taking advantage of such a wonderful man, there are things I do for him that he hates like car maintenance, changing air filters, killing snakes in the backyard, bill-paying, all the shopping for all of our needs, and vomit clean up (and many more other things... but he's still the spider-killer... I can't TOUCH those things!)
Thank you for your post, Jen. It's so nice to hear love stories that are based on the character of a person and the "little things" that make life so sweet. :)
My husband gave up a really good job at the time the economy was going down hill fast to move to Texas, so that I did not have to move to Montana after living in the tropics for 10 years.
ReplyDeleteI think my fiancé telling me that he's going to kiss the scars from my breast cancer surgery (he's still "trapped" in Canadia and I'm here in Australia) is right up there with what John does.
ReplyDeleteBlessed is the woman who loves a man with a beautiful soul.
Hugs to you, Jen and John
Bright Blessings
Kathleen Schulz
Did you know are seriously my favorite blogger in the world??? Seriously. I went to a book signing of yours in Tempe, AZ and I was too star struck to even say hi to you. How lame am I? You and John were hilarious, and that was a million years ago so why am I talking about it now? Anyway, I love that John held your hand at the dentist. I have very similar fears and a very similar husband. And I read your link - and that sounds horrible at the hospital with the heart rate thing - but what caught my attention even more - were you really a Jungle Cruise skipper??? Oh my goodness you were probably THE best. We usually hate when we get girls because they're never as funny, but I bet you were so funny.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid, I never minded the dentist much. Not even when I had to have cavities drilled -- I was afraid of the needles, but once I got over that, it was like any other needle for me. I still hated them with a burning passion, but I could deal.
ReplyDeleteBut a couple of years ago, my wisdom tooth broke. It was left with a sharp edge, and I had to have it removed. It was my first extraction, and all of a sudden I was terrified. I had never before realized how vulnerable you feel when someone's hands are pulling something out of your mouth and you can't do anything about it. O__O
ANYWAY! >_> A very old friend I recently got back in touch with learned one day that in my new apartment, I can't get -anything- I want delivered. No pizza. No sushi. No sandwiches. So when he mentioned ice cream, and could practically hear me drooling through the phone, he said he'd find me some.
I told him I didn't think he was going to find ice cream in my neighborhood, much less ice cream that delivered. He laughed.
Four days later there was a styrofoam cooler full of dry ice and two tubs of ice cream in my doorway. :D
Also in TMI territory, but still...I knew I would marry my husband when I had a bad case of food poisoning and I was violently ill. Not only was it the first time I'd been sick and wanted someone there besides my mother, but he was there, taking care of his "barfasaurus," despite having absolutely no tolerance for other people's vomit. (Kind of a preview of my pregnancy years later!)
ReplyDeleteBefore we were married, my husband and I were in the Army and lived in Germany. We were riding our bikes on a Sunday afternoon and I had this freak crash and ended up breaking both of my arms. Jeff took care of everything...we left our bikes in someone's yard, got a ride to the ER and spent many hours waiting for Xrays, docs and had a lot of trouble translating German! When we finally got back to our barracks, Jeff had to help me with everything... When he was washing my long, thick hair with a pea sized amount of shampoo and had never imagined how useful conditioner was...well, that was when I realized that I wanted to marry this man. This year we'll have been married for 16 years.
ReplyDeleteIt just so happens that my boyfriend did something super amazing last night! I had a project at work that I had to complete last night no matter how long it took and so told him that I'd be home really late. He didn't just say that he'd miss me and that he'd be waiting at home for me, nope. He went out, brought me dinner, and then stayed at work with me to help in whatever way he could and just keep me company, without a single complaint, until 11:30pm. I am a lucky woman :)
ReplyDeleteWhat sweet stories!
ReplyDeleteMy now-husband, then-fiance & I were doing the long-distance thing when I got diagnosed with severe endometriosis out of the blue. I was so in shock and after trying a treatment, my OB/GYN & I scheduled a discussion about surgery which might've required removal of my ovaries 6 months before our wedding. Dave couldn't fly out for the appointment as he was flying out the next week, so one of my college roommates left her 2 kids with her in-laws, drove an hour and a half, went through the ultrasound with me, and took notes during the consultation to make sure my shell-shocked brain would ask all the surgery questions that Dave & I needed answered. She was the rock I needed when I was really scared.
I was still dating my now-husband 21 years ago when my father passed away suddenly. I lived 1 1/2 hours away from home (I was home when it happened). I called my him and my boss, and told them both what happened. When I got home around midnight, my now-husband was at my apartment waiting for me. He just held me all night long. I knew right then that I was going to marry him.
ReplyDeleteOur oldest son had to be delivered via emergency c-section at 28 weeks' gestation (that's 3 months early, for those of you not familiar with the intricacies) due to severe eclampsia. That night, very sick and highly medicated, I was awakened every half hour by the automated blood pressure cuff, and I was THIRSTY...but I wasn't allowed to drink anything. My wonderful husband "slept" in the chair by my bed, and every half hour, he got up, held the cup of water up for me, moved the straw to the little dish, and told me to rinse and spit. All night long he did this, while he was scared for my life, and the life of our baby boy (who is just fine, and 10 years old). It still makes me teary to think about it.
ReplyDeleteDear Jen: You are adorable. Never change.
ReplyDeleteDear John: You are also adorable, and kind of awesome. Never change either.
Sweetest thing someone's done for me lately? Hm.
My (now former) high school has a very intense drama program, and the most intense show of the year is Spring Musical. It rehearses from mid-January to May, and has had casts in excess of forty (!!) people. Because, naturally, everyone wants to be onstage and in the spotlight.
No one wants to be on stage crew or light crew or sound. There's no glory in it. No one gets a standing ovation for climbing a scaffold a hundred times a day, or for correcting a faulty microphone before someone's solo becomes an ear-splitting screech.
So the stage, light, and sound crews are minuscule. I was on lights, Jim (my boyfriend, then of three months) was on stage crew. Come opening night we were both running around like decapitated chickens.
I made it back to my little box just seconds before curtain, and sitting on my seat is one red rose and a note that reads "I love you". Somehow he managed to get it there without me spotting him. No one ever gives roses to the crews.
We're still together seven months later, and I couldn't be happier. He's the best. <3
Though we now have a beautiful four month old, pregnancy was frightening for my husband and I. He rearranged his work and school schedule to be with me at every single check up, and brought me "snack assortments" each Tuesday and Thursday after class, so I would always have something I wanted to snack on (everything from donuts to chinese food). When Jr. was born three weeks early, my honey slept on the chair in my hospital room for three days so he could be close.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's silly, but it all meant the world to me! Husbands can be great :-D
My incredible husband is in the military and our first two and a half years of marriage will be spent apart except for about five months, due to training as well as deployment. Last Christmas afforded us with a chance to spend an entire month together. I was working crazy hours in my retail job while hubby stayed home. I came home from a 13 hour work day to find the tree up waiting to be decorated, wine and Christmas lights in all our windows. That moment and night decorating our first Christmas tree together is what is getting me through this holiday season while my man is is Afghanistan. Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteI was in the hospital recently and my boyfriend had been out of the country. He couldn't visit because I was immune compromised. However, he sent me a dozen lilac roses which are my favorite and even called my mom to check on me while I recovered
ReplyDeleteIt was a miracle that my husband ever considered dating me after the first time we meet i almost killed him with a drill but i am sure i am the luckiest person ever. When i was 7 months pregnant I started having really bad pain in my tailbone and it got so bad one night i couldnt walk or move or do anything. We called the advice nurse and she said to take a bath and try some hot pads. We had a deep porcelain tub in our apartment and I got stuck. The size of a whale and i am crying and telling him that ill just sleep in the tub. He pulled me out and called in sick to work and stayed with me the whole weekend. Finally got into the doctors and I was officialy diagnosed with BUTT ARTHRITIS! Amazed he still loves me!
ReplyDeleteMy husband stayed with me even after his mom disowned him cause i wasnt what she wanted him to marry (different races). We know have the best toddler you could ask for and I am amazed everyday at him.
ReplyDeleteI was never afraid of the dentist but I stopped going when I was 16 cause my dentist, halfway through filling a cavity looked down and said'You have really gorgeous eyes'. Freaked me out, didnt go back for 7 years
ReplyDeleteJen, your John is a prince and you are fortunate to have him (as he is to have you). My DH is a dear, and while we've had some difficult times over the years, we're now at 34 yrs. married + 7 yrs. dating, so we've been together a long time. He does the big things too, but it's the everyday small stuff that makes him so special. I wouldn't trade him for anybody. I am a lucky woman.
ReplyDelete~physicsmom
It took me years to get my license. I started the process when I was 15, but I didn't get it until the summer after Senior year. When I failed the test the first time, I was a mess. I kind of expected to pass, but I failed by 2 points. I mentioned it in an over dramatic status update. One of my friends was online and he kept talking to me, comforting me, and telling lame (and by lame, I mean completely awesome) physic jokes until I felt better. The next time I took, and failed the test, he asked if he could come over, or chat or do whatever I needed. And he said he loved me. Needless to say I wasn't so depressed that time. We've been going out for 6 great months.
ReplyDeleteDamn Jen, this just made me all teary.
ReplyDeleteI just broke up with someone who I'm still terribly in love with, but just can't give me the emotional support I need.
Needless to say , he wouldn't have done something like this.
I hope I can one day find someone as good for me as he is to you.
I'd say don't ever let him go, but I know you wont. :)
This summer my husband and I lost our unborn baby when I was three months pregnant, and though it was the worst experience of my life I still think of that day at the hospital as "nice" - the staff there was SO amazing and caring in a very sincere way, even though they experience patients like me every day. They really made the worst day of my life the best that it could be, and I am so grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad had been sick with cancer for four years. It was Thanksgiving and we all knew it would be Dad's last one with us. We also knew Dad wouldn't be able to eat all the traditional food, because he just couldn't digest it. My husband, in charge of a Thanksgiving feast for 20+ people from both our families anyway, added one more very spcial item to the menu. He made sure to ask the butcher for some extra turkey legs and bones and along with everything else he cooked he a special turkey soup so Dad could have turkey with the rest of the family. Dad died after Christmas that year and I will never forget how my man made sure Dad could participate in that last big holiday with us.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Jen and my husband is in Iraq.
ReplyDeleteBefore he left I got him hooked on my favorite web comic Questionable Content. He reads it every day because he says it makes him feel like hes not that far away. The sweetest thing he did was that he bought some greeting cards that had the characters from the comic on it and every now and then sends one to me with a message he has written. Each one makes me smile and laugh, he did it because once I had told him that emails feel impersonal. Also every time I miss him I can open one of the cards and see his hand writing and I feel like hes not as far away.
Have you ever thought about going to the Star Trek Dentist in Orlando? My sister used to go there and the said it was a blast! (pun intended!)
ReplyDeleteI got really sick after a night of performing in marching band. I would stand, get dizzy and either have to lean on something or lay down in order to not pass out. My friend decided that he would carry me around so i didn't have to go through that. He carried me around for the rest of the night.
ReplyDeleteWe had to sleep in a gym, so when we were all going to bed, he carried me and gently laid me down on my sleeping bag.
I know this might sound silly, but that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.
Back when we were first married, I used to tease Mr. Blinger that I wanted a pear shaped diamond pendant someday to match my engagement ring.
ReplyDeleteFast forward 10 years and 2 kids later. Remember those commercials for diamonds? The "I Love You" diamond? We are sitting on the couch watching TV and said commercial comes on. He says, "Do you want an "I Love You" diamond?" I said, "Nope, I want an "I Love You Kitchen Island". Which I soon received! We couldn't afford the nice island as well as a fancy granite top, so we put a "temporary" top of cheap melamine on it.
Fast forward another 10 years and I'll be getting my granite counter top this week! I think I've enjoyed that island and will enjoy the new granite top much more than a diamond pendant! But I'm glad he asked!
I can't believe I'm actually commenting about this since it's something I don't really talk about, but four years ago on my 20th birthday my little brother attempted to kill himself. My parents and I spent the whole day in the city where he was being kept in a lock down facility, hoping desperately that either the facility or my brother himself would let us in to see him. All thoughts for my birthday were forgotten, by my brother, by my parents, and most certainly by me. That night when my parents and I got home they went out, leaving me all alone in the house. I had told my two best friends what had happened earlier, but when they found out I was going to be home alone all night on my birthday after the day I'd just had, they both ditched out of work early and spent the whole night with me, watching movies and doing their utmost to make me laugh. We didn't have any money then, I got no birthday presents or parties or cakes, but the fact that they were determined not to let me be alone on a birthday like that was truly the kindest, sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.
ReplyDeleteMy dentist's name is Dr. Tran too! But I live in CA, so it's probably not the same guy. (He's awesome though!)
ReplyDeleteIt was my 30th birthday earlier this month and not being great in social situations, I decided to keep the celebrations low-key. I've been let down on my birthday in the past so just invited a handful of friends.
ReplyDeleteMy best male friend had said that one of his oldest friends was getting married that day which left a bit of a dilemma. He'd known her since he was 12 (he's now 34) but in recent years he'd felt a bit let down. Still, it was her big day so I didn't for a second expect him to come to my birthday celebration. He did, but that's not all.
He arrived looking a bit stressed then said he was going for a cigarette. The next thing I knew the crowd in the bar separated and he was carrying a massive birthday cake with 30 candles on it. Turns out my mum had organised the cake and another friend of mine - who owns a cafe - had offered to take it in. My parents dropped the cake off to her but she was worried about getting it to the bar as it was so big. So she phoned my best friend and he met her, organised a taxi and came into the bar first to see where I was sitting and make sure I couldn't see him or the cake. He then "went for a cigarette" - but actually lit all the candles and brought me the cake.
I was both touched and deeply embarrassed by the effort my mum and friends had gone to for me!
And just last week I told my friend how much I appreciated him coming out and doing all that for me when he could've been at that wedding. And he just said, "Carrie with all you've done for me, there's NO WAY I wasn't going to be there."
That really means the world to me - as does he.
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteI don't mind going to the dentist so much, except I get annoyed with something always being wrong with my oral care. The last time I was told I had stains BEHIND my two front teeth! And this matters, why? Good grief, people, I'm 55 and I don't need to be lectured like a kid!
BTW, I found this neat steampunk record player video I think you and John will enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSiVWkk5zaQ&feature=player_embedded
Cheers!
M.E. :)
My husband walked 60 miles over three days with me for Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the cure. We slept in tents in 30 degree weather and he wore a tutu for two of the days. That's dedication.
ReplyDeleteBTW-my husband is a dentist :)
I know I've said this before, but Jen, why can't there be a John up here in WI for me? You and all those who commented are very lucky to have found such caring partners to share life with.
ReplyDeleteShort version of good friend stepping up story is my freshman year of college - had an issue with my neighbor's and a (now) very good friend was super supportive and actually got mad at them for me. In order to deal with what they were doing, I kind of shut down emotionally and I was really touched that he supported me like that.
My husband John is so wonderful I don't know where to start to find the most romantic thing he has done for me!(Maybe there is something in the name?)I guess his proposal would be a good place to start - he dressed up as a Knight-in-Shining-Armor, read out a proclamation vowing his undying love for me, then got down on his knees and laid his sword at my feet. We have been married 13 years next month and we are still very much in love. He still does little romantic things like sending me messages through the day, but I have to say I think the thing that stands out is when our son had a really bad case of vomiting and diarrhoea and John cleaned it all up for me when he saw how much I was struggling with it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I am concerned, when he helps with the housework or cooks a meal when I am tired it is more romantic than all the flowers in the world! (I get flowers, too)
He is the best of husbands and I am so blessed to have him. Your John sounds just as nice.
After I lost my first child in utero, my husband sat by my side for a week just holding me while I cried after I had to have surgery immediately afterwards. I knew he would always be there if he would stay by me at my most vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend has done so many things for me that it makes me wonder what I'd do with out him. He decided he is my big brother and rescues me when I'm depressed. He drove 8 hours and hung out with me when he could have gone to an awesome airshow. He told me I'm totally worth an expensive detour so he can pick me up to go on a trip with a group he is in. Plus so many other little things, after having friends who used me and left me. Having a best friend and big brother like him is amazing.
ReplyDeleteMy husband goes with me when I get shots or need to have blood taken (which is fairly often with my health stuff). Now, I'm not afraid of needles or blood. But he is. He gave blood once and basically passed out. He's always amazed that I don't have problems giving blood or sitting still after the nurse misses my vein for the second time. He insists on coming with me anyway. So he was there and got all pale and had to sit down while I got 7 vaccine shots in one day. And he was there and got all pale and had to sit down and not look when I had my implanon inserted in my arm. I'd be fine going by myself, especially with how he reacts to having blood taken or watching my get shots, etc. But he wants to be there for me. It's very very sweet. Needless to say, I am there to hold his hand for every needle he gets!
ReplyDeleteHey Jen,
ReplyDeleteI have quadruplets. They are 6 years old now but when they were infants I dreaded grocery store trips. Everyone would gawk as I pushed the 4 person stroller and block my way unaware that I had limited time to complete this trip so I could get home in time to feed the kids again. Many, many people had nice things to say. Some people had memorably awful things to say. But everyone had to say something. I was often grumpy and abrupt with all the looky-loos, but tried to at least not be overtly rude.
One day as I was raiding the baby food aisle (as in buying over 100 jars for the week) an older lady was sort of hovering in the aisle with me. I had seen her and knew she would say something, because everybody did, but she had been polite and not interrupted me as I was pondering the merits of sweet potatoes vs. green beans. As I left the aisle she simply said, "God Bless you," and handed me a $10 bill. She had included a copied religious tract.
I was touched and a little sheepish. I never saw her again.
Shelley in So. Illinois
Mine involves the two of you! I don't expect you to remember, but when you came to Chicago for a book signing I was disappointed because you were going to be in the suburbs and I didn't have a way to get there. My bf - now fiance - picked me up from work, told me he had a surprise for me, and would not tell me where we were going. I finally figured it out when we headed for the exit for the mall. He also gave me money to buy my Cake Wrecks book. It was such a treat and I so enjoyed meeting you that day. :)
ReplyDeleteaawwwwwwwwwwwww John is awesome :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, Jen... Your story made my eye tear up a bit! It's so cute!
ReplyDeleteA couple years ago, on the day after Christmas, I got really sick unexpectedly. It was right when I was getting up, and apparently I had been moaning and groaning in my sleep for a couple hours. I was sitting up in bed, telling my hubby that I was not feeling good at all. he knew, of course, and held out his had to walk me to the bathroom so I could throw up. I didn't make it that far, and did the deed into an empty bowl near the bed that was used for popcorn the night before. He was totally fine making multiple trips to the bathroom to empty it for me, while I repeatedly spewed everything he tried to have me eat.
It doesn't sound very magical, of course, but it still sticks out in my mind as one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me!
I had braces for about two and a half years getting them tightened about every month and a half.
ReplyDeleteand my orthodontist called me the wrong name for every single meeting. She would be seeing a couple patients at once so as a result whenever she actually addressed me by name her fingers happened to be in my mouth, and later it never seemed worth the bother to bring it up, since i wouldn't see her for about six more weeks anyways...
to be fair she got pregnant and was on maternity leave before I realized what had been going on. of course most of the time i had spent with her I had only seen her eyes.
she was a really nice woman though
I have a sweet husband that accompanies me on EVERY doctor visit too. And he takes notes. This came in very handy when last year I went to the ER (I NEVER go to the ER) thinking the intense pain i was in was due to a kidney stone. Doc thought so too but the CT scan showed two things--mass on ovary and enlarged lymph nodes in abdomen. Yep, surgery a day later showed I had lymphoma. But my husband was with me every step of the way including all the chemo treatments. He became rather an expert on the meds used. When he vowed 28 years ago, "in sickness and in health", he meant it. He remains my very favorite person on this Earth...
ReplyDeleteNot crazy - clearly just crazy about you. My hubby is the same.
ReplyDeleteafter I got my wisdom teeth out, I had a bad reaction to some combination of the anesthetic and pain meds/antibiotics, which made me incredibly nauseous for a week. one day, I threw up tomato soup. all over my boyfriend, and the surrounding furniture. he cleaned it up. best boyfriend ever.
ReplyDeleteI also have a great fear/hatred of dentists. doesn't help that they keep "forgetting" I'm allergic to latex.
Wow. You are so blessed Jen. I hope someday I find someone as awesome to me as John is to you.
ReplyDeleteMy partner of 18 years is always there when I am sick - he takes the best care of me.
ReplyDeleteOne of his most thoughtful acts happened when I was working my way through Xena on DVD. When I got to about halfway through the last episode of the last season he came in and handed me a big bowl of ice cream with Milo sprinkles.
I was a little nonplussed at first but a friend had told him how the series ended and he thought I would need comfort food so he carefully monitored where I was up to so he could be there for me.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteA lot of these stories have been so tear-jerkingly adorable, and I love that you've facilitated such a discussion.
It's a lot to share, but I met my very first boyfriend when I was 17 years old. I had had really low self-esteem and he really did exploit it. He suffered from bipolar disorder, unmedicated, and most days were more than a trial. The unpredictability of his behavior was compounded by the fact that I thought so little of myself that I couldn't bring myself to break up with him even when everything spiraled out of control. On top of being verbally abusive every day and playing mind games, one day he beat me black and blue and then made me walk home. It was two miles on an 80 degree day. He then broke up with ME (later, I forgave him, like an idiot) by changing his relationship status on facebook. No call, no warning.
Fast forward, and I am now dating someone new. Unfortunately, we met on an archaeological dig and go to different universities. He lives 3 hours away, and I don't get to see him as often as I would like. He is amazing. That first relationship ended up being pretty scarring, and a lot of time I behave in really bizarre ways, because I expect him to be passive-aggressive and cruel and to lash out at me for no discernible reason, all things that first boy would do. He is so unbelievably patient about this, and very understanding, even though I know it pains him. He feels he has to prove everyday that he loves me. But it's working, and I'm beginning to feel like a whole person again. A specific example of how awesome he is: today I had a freak health scare, and I was pretty ill, with chills and a visible tremor, and awful awful nausea. Upon finding out how serious it was, he drove the three hours to be with me, just to try to keep me warm and to hold my hair back when necessary.
There are a million little things like this. He's kind of my hero.
Doctors and dentists freak me out!
ReplyDeleteI've yet to have anyone be that caring or supportive of me. Boo!
And, I'm sorry, I can't NOT giggle like a fool at you saying you go to Dr. Tran! I've watched that animation so many times, it's ridiculous.
Hello, long time lurker, first time poster here!
ReplyDeleteBack when me and my boyfriend were first going out, he lived about 140 miles from me. That's a good 2 hour drive, if there isn't any traffic. Anyways, I once had a really awful day at work, so bad I burst into tears when I rang him at lunchtime. And, him being the lovely person he is, once he finished work, he got in his car and drove to see me, despite it meaning he had to get up at 4am the next morning to drive home so he'd be there in time for work.
I moved in with him about a month after that!
Jen, I feel your pain. I had to have braces in high school, for which a couple of teeth in my upper jaw had to be removed. Let's just say local anasthetic isn't half as strong as it should be. And injections into the roof of your mouth do not bode well for the rest of the procedure. Lo and behold, the dentist brings out a pair of pliers, and begins to pry out the things, whilst I'm sat clinging to the chair, holding back the agony. There were tears on the journey back, but god bless mums and their moral support :D
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you Jen - I HATE the dentist too. I would rather give birth than get my teeth cleaned - if they could knock me out for cleaning I would be up for it! :) Hope everything went well and you are feeling much better.
ReplyDeleteBack in April my husbands cousin passed away. I was 700km away with my father looking after my gran (btw I vow I'm never getting that old-waking at night afraid because you can't see and don't know where you are? scary) One of my best friends was on the phone with me when I found out, had me call my husband to be sure he was ok, tell my dad what was going on and she came two days later (from a 3 hour drive away) to take me back home to be with my husband and his family for a few days, then took me to her place (she had to be home fro the next day)....well my other best friend, I had never met him, only ever chatted online, he came the two hour drive and took me back to my gran's (a total of 6 hours driving for the poor guy). He rescued me that day, and has been there for me and my family every day since, including helping my husband get work where he works, helping us to move the five hours away to his city, and even looked after me while I had strep throat 'cause my hubby had to work.
ReplyDeleteJohn should PLEASE start teaching a class in good husbandship, and if any of this could just sink in with my own husband... well, I'd appreciate the progress he'd have made. :)
ReplyDeleteWay to set an example and improve the world, Jen and John! In a single post, you've both got countless readers thinking about the sweetest events, the kindest people to ever walk the Earth, and how to make things better at the dentist. Wear your super hero capes proudly you two, and long may they wave!
ReplyDeleteAbout a month ago I had to have a minor surgical procedure in order to find out what has been causing some bizarre symptoms. I don't do well with things like...surgery. My fiance took the morning off of work to come to the hospital with me and my parents and even though all he could do was hold my hand prior to the nurses taking me to the OR. Later, when we went for lunch, I ended up leaning on him most of the time because I was so groggy and washed out. I kept saying, "Thank you." and he kept replying, "Why? I love you, it 's the least I can do." I'm keeping him!
ReplyDeleteHow much do I love that your dentist's name is Dr. Tran? Is he five years old and an American hero... from America?
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't know a Dr. Ho, I would move to be near Dr. Tran. I still might...
My BF and I have been together for over 4 years. Only a month into our relationship I was in the hospital multiple times and ended up having surgery. He stayed with me the whole time, sleeping in uncomfortable hospital beds even though I'm pretty sure technically that wasn't allowed. Pretty ridiculous considering we hardly new each other at that point. =)
ReplyDeleteMy husband stands outside to watch me walk the dog at night because I'm scared of being alone with her in the dark. I'm sure my dog would destroy anyone who came near but it makes me feel better knowing he's watching too.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me cringe to hear of someone enduring pain at the dentist's office. You should never feel pain from having a filling done - shame on your dentist!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can think of that someone other than my parents has done for me was when I was dating a guy and I called him back to my house 15 minutes after he left to kill a spider sitting above the bedroom door. And he came back and did it without making fun of me.
My husband spoils me rotten! He rubs my feet every day when we lounge on the couch watching TV! The cat gets super jealous of all the attention I am getting! My husband is Mr. No Romance, but ya know, the little things are what count. We have been married for four months; I can wait for a life time of foot rubs!
ReplyDeleteWhen I finally had had enough and kicked my now ex-husband out, I called my best friend, Kim, who lived 500 miles away to cry on her shoulder. She asked if I wanted to come up and spend some time with her, and offered to pay for a plane ticket. I said no, that I had spring break the next week (I was a teacher) and I had to file for divorce and pack up his stuff and a million other things to do. About half an hour after we hung up, my phone rang and Kim said, "My flight comes in at noon on Saturday. Can you pick me up or should I take a cab?" It touched me deeply that she was willing to drop everything and fly down to help me.
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago, I remarried. My husband was my high school sweetheart, and since we have been back together, I have grown in many ways. For one thing, he encourage me to start writing. We belong to a weekly improv writing group, where we are given a prompt and write whatever comes to mind for a few minutes, then read it aloud. He writes a lot of poetry, and one night he wrote the following. It took him 5 minutes, and he read it loud and proud for the whole world to hear.
A motorcycle, high speed on the open road
Aroma and heat from what's cooking on the stove
Music resounding through room and hall
Music performed deep inside my soul
The words of Whitman, Tennyson, Byron, and Poe
Words from my own pen that freely flow
The looks on the faces of my daughters and son
When they proudly show the prizes they've won
Watching them grow, mature, and succeed
Teaching them all I know and believe
Now take all these things and package them whole
Then multiply the result ten thousand fold
So you can begin to know the real passion of life
The joy of knowing and loving my wife
I love him.
Going to the dentist shouldn't hurt. If it does, you should find another dentist!
ReplyDeleteI had to have a spinal tap for a still undiagnosed 'lesion' on my spine. SUPER SCARY and painful....My fiance was there through the procedure (which took FOREVER because as the doctor said I was a "hard stick" and he kept hitting my vertebrae) I know it was terrible for him to watch, but he stayed and I appreciated it so much.
ReplyDeleteD'awww. I totally agree, I would take a sweet act over roses and gifts any day.
ReplyDeleteFor me I get off work after 5 everyday, and it's already dark at 4 here in Canada. So my lovely man comes and waits for me after work so I won't be alone downtown. He comes straight from his work or the base. So tt's always a little funny coming down into the huge atrium of the office building and seeing this one man in soldier uniform sticking out amongst the suites. Not to mention the funny looks he gets wearing his camo. Sometimes he hides by the big plants to try and be funny. It's definitely the sweetest thing.
Sometimes the do funny things, but it's always well appreciated by us woman they do it for ^_^
Does John have a single brother? ;D
ReplyDeleteMy husband has done so many incredible things for me i would hardly know where to begin. I cannot imagine a more loving person.
ReplyDeleteFor the longest time, I really never thought I was meant to find love. I always felt like i would be such a burden to anyone if I ever married. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder and have had many surgeries and issues because of this. I cannot live on my own.
My husband and I met online, completely by accident, on Second Life. We were not looking for love, just fun in a game. We also lived across the world from each other. by the time he came out to Canada for his first visit from England three months later, we both knew we were meant to be. He told me he loved my scars the first time he saw them because they were a part of me.
I have been living in England for a year now and we got married nine months ago. Four days before our wedding i suddenly had huge back issues and lost all strength. I couldn't walk. At all. The doctors were doing everything they could to help, but they said nothing could be done on time to have me walking by the wedding, couldn't make a brace or any kind of support fast enough. My husband told me we were getting married if he had to wheel me down the aisle on a gurney. But knowing how much I wanted to walk down that aisle, he helped me search online for a tight-lacing corset that would be able to hold my back upright while I lacked the strength. He had it sent overnight, it cost a good bit of the money we were meant to spend on our very modest honeymoon. But once I was laced into it I could stand. I could walk.
He stayed home in our flat the night before the wedding, lifting me in and out of the tub, in and out of bed, helped me with every step of the preparation that he was not even meant to see, much less be a part of. He laced me into my corset, then into my dress. He proudly walked with me down the street to the church, then down the aisle, never leaving me for a second the entire day, from the moment the sun rose.
He does so much for me on a daily basis, all those things that I wish I could do for him. And he tells me that having me there waiting for him and happy to see him when he gets home at the end of the day are more than enough for him. The days that I manage to cook him dinner or wash some dishes are all bonus.
He is my own Jon and he is the most loving and compassionate man I have ever known. I waited 34 years for him and it was worth every second. I moved across the world for him and I would move the earth for him if I could. I am glad you have your own John who is your everything too. :o)
Any woman who can find a man who loves her scars is a very lucky woman.
I hate needles of any kind. And I am scared of IV's. Iv'e had to have one 3 times, once when I had my wisdom teeth out, I think seeing the IV knocked me out, didnt even need the drugs they pumped through it. And both times during childbirth, and I was a little pre-occupied and didn't mind it too much. My sweet sweet hubby knows of my needle/IV fear....he needed to have surgery a few years back. they took him back and got him all ready and then said I could see him before they took him to the OR. When I walked back he looked cute in his gown and blue hair-net-cap-thing. And then I asked why this sheet was hung all weird from a pole and draped over his one shoulder and arm? He was the one having surgery, yet he had asked the nurses to hang a sheet so I wouldn't have to see the IV he was hooked up to. He's a keeper!
ReplyDeleteIt's such a good thing I keep tissue at my desk. Sniff!
ReplyDeleteI've been very blessed in my life by people who have gone out of their way to do things for me. A recent one still lingers strong for me...
I was at work bemoaning to my co-workers that it's very difficult to work when there's no sunshine coming in (it was a stormy day). I left for lunch and when I came back, one of my cubicle mates had printed and cut out nearly 20(!!) yellow suns and taped them all around my desk and cubicle. I just couldn't believe that someone would go to so much effort for me. It made me feel very special, indeed.
John, you are a man among men!
I hardly ever comment on anything because I'm very lazy but all these lovely stories made me want to add mine :)
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, the day before my 17th birthday my dad and I were visited by two police officers who came to tell us that my older brother had been found dead from an accidental drug overdose. We hadn't seen my brother in a long time but obviously this was still a shock, especially for my Dad to lose a child.
Anyway my Dad had to go to Edinburgh to sort out all the official stuff and to see my brother's girlfriend and kids. I stayed home, by myself because my sister was down in England on a work placement. The first wonderful thing is that my best friend came and got me without my asking and took me to stay with her family so I wouldn't be alone that night, or waking up the morning of my birthday.
The second awesome thing was the next day when I didn't go to school and stayed home. I had been seeing this boy, literally for only 2 weeks and didn't really want to burden him with something as big as this when we were just getting to know each other. But he got it out of me and immediately turned up at my door. That day he really took care of me, he cooked for me when I felt like eating, he put on my favourite comedy DVD to cheer me up and just sat with my in silence when I needed it. With my family in mourning my birthday was forgotten,which was fair enough, but he still brought me a card and a present and celebrated as far as I felt like it.
At one point I apologised to him for such a heavy day saying, 'I bet you didn't expect this 2 weeks into our relationship!' to which he replied, 'Don't be silly, I would be here if it was 2 days into it'.
We're not together anymore but he is the only ex I'm still friends with and I definately feel that's partly because of how much he stepped up to the plate that day :)
I once stood at the end of the chair holding my sisters foot while she had a root canal done... of course the dentist asked me to leave when I started singing along to the Christmas music (Elvis, Ihaahaal have aa bluueee Caristmas.... without yooouuuuuuu)which made her laugh and jiggle the equipment. Guess I'm not quite as helpful as some :)
ReplyDeleteThree weeks ago, I fell on an icy patch and broke my right ankle. I'm forbidden to put any weight on it, so I'm on crutches. Wifey has been doing all the cooking, cleaning, listening to the occasional pity induced ranty-sob about how I just want to go and see the new Harry Potter movie, picking out my clothes and putting my lunch into my backpack. Without complaint.
ReplyDeleteShe's way too nice to me. :)
I'm fine with the dentist (though sometimes those X-Ray plate things trigger my overly sensitive gag reflex). My wife (at the time, my girlfriend) did accompany me to an eye doctor's appointment after which I'm surprised she married me.
ReplyDeleteThe eye doctor had to put drops in my eyes. I can't stand *ANYTHING* touching my eyes. I involuntarily (yeeeeaaahhhhh) nearly kicked him in the groinal area. Quite a feat of feet considering he was near my head.
So, even knowing that she would need to tackle me on the bed anytime eye drops needed to be applied, she still married me. (*reads my last sentence*) Wait a second.... I think I need to tell my wife that I need eye drops. ;-)
Sweetest thing hubby ever did for me? He wasn't my hubby back then, we were dating. I'd had a procedure done and I was young and scared. He took care of me all day and even went so far as to make me a cup of really bad coffee. I knew right then that i was going to marry him. I was 16 at the time and it's been 25 years and I still wouldn't trade him for anything.
ReplyDeleteI love to hear cute partner stories, and what John does for you is very sweet.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend does some very sweet things. Whenever I go to cross the street he holds my hand tight to make sure I only cross when the light is green (I have a tendency to jay walk everywhere, even on horribly busy streets)
Another cute moment was I got the Norwalk flu last winter (which is so horribly contagious you can be next to someone for 10 minutes and get it and has HORRIBLE symptoms). My boyfriend is fearful of getting sick and avoids all sick people but he took time off work to sit with me, make me soup, buy me drinks to keep me hydrated and just keep me entertained the entire day, even if it meant him catching the sickness (which thankfully he didn't).
I was sick for many years (turned out to be mercury poisoning BEFORE it was "cool"- er..and doctors knew what it even WAS) and since my slow puzzling descent into painful unspecified illness coincided with other forms of merry hell breaking loose in my family, I went through 99.9% of it (driving myself to the ER, miserable HMO wrangling, painful chemo-like chelation treatments)on my own.
ReplyDeleteShortly after the worst of it passed, I met and married my wonderful husband, and things were WAY better. Then, I had to have full-monty, knock-you-out, 8 weeks no fooling recovery abdominal surgery this summer....and I am STILL a complete teary mess about how amazing he was. Came to my pre-surgery consult and took notes so I wouldn't have to worry about remembering things, took days off of work and waited on me during the unbearable post-op nausea, and even started a pain meds log so I wouldn't miss a dose (or forget I'd taken it). And held me when I became a sobbing sentimental mess at how NICE he was to me.
Yeah, I know, some people might say, "Well DUH!! Of course he did that!!" But it was the first time in years anyone did so much for me- and man, after missing that kind of TLC for so long, you just don't know how much it means.
Jen - that John's a keeper. ;-) Thank you for getting everyone to start sharing these wonderful and sweet stories. It's given me good pause for thought to stop and really think about everything my hubby does for me.
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with clinical depression since September. I wasn't sleeping well, or eating. While we waited for medication and therapy to start helping, my dear husband took it upon himself to not only draw up a list of all my favorite foods, he went and bought them, and put them on a special shelf in the fridge. And most impressively, got our pre-teen son to leave them alone. All just so that I might be enticed to eat.
And he hold my hand during flu shots, and he starts the coffee pot when he gets home (he's on the graveyard shift)... Oh, he's just the most wonderful husband I could ask for. :)
wv: afrin - I can breathe clearly now!
I was separated from my first husband when he died; our son was 3 at the time. My in-laws stayed in touch with me only so they could continue to see their grandson. When I remarried, they weren't happy there was a new man in my son's life, but they were civil. My husband has been great to them and totally won them over. My son was spending a weekend with them when my former MIL had a stroke. My former FIL called to ask if we could pick up my son at the hospital, and this was around 1:00 AM. Not only did my husband volunteer to go get my (now more like our) son from the hospital an hour away and in the middle of the night, he event went back to visit my former MIL in the hospital the next day during his lunch break.
ReplyDeleteHe has not only accepted my family as his own, he has accepted my former in-laws as family. I can't thank him enough.
We had my husband's family over for dinner one night. That night, I developed a sudden and severe allergy to carrots, which was one of the vegetables on the table. My husband had to take me to the urgent care, gasping for breath. I felt horrible leaving them to see themselves out, but they not only took care of the food (and threw out all the carrots in the house!), they also tidied up and did all the dishes for me. Afterward, my FIL came to the UC to see me. The nurse brought him back, saying, "Your Daddy is here". She was right!
ReplyDeleteI get tense and nervous about dentist visits. I get cavities regularly. I've also got a sensitive gag reflex. Any time they want to take an x-ray, they have to race out of the room and hurry back in. Kinda funny in hindsight. But the time I had to have a root canal and they filled my teeth with metal spikes to melt them as a filler, me and the doc were both tense and trying to keep me calm and still. I've had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled, eugh. There was a stretch of time when I refused numbing shots because one of my previous dentists never got them in right, luckily I have a teeth type that doesn't pain me when they treat shallow cavities. Nowadays I allow the numbing agents, try remember to take my headphones with so I can use music to block out some of the drill whine.
ReplyDeleteNow the time I managed to strain my neck via getting scared awake by the alarm clock, my no nonsense mom rushed back from work, got me to the hospital, fussed over me while they shot meds into my back and at home made sure the docs weren't pushing too many painkillers on me. Our local hospital isn't known for quality.
I know this is really old - I just stumbled on it.But i feel like i have to go on just a little bit about my lovely other half.
ReplyDeleteLast year I broke my ankle in 8 places while I was at work (luckily he is the manager where I work.) The hospital sent out an ambulence, but decided it was only a bad sprain that I could walk off. He wouldnt believe that (yknow - because I was near hysterical with the pain - and my ankle had nearly tripled in size) so he wheeled me to the hospital on a stock trolly from a supermarket and insisted I got Xrays. He then proceeded to stand there will they reset my ankle with no pain medication (BIG mistake) and even when he fainted because it was too much for him, he refused to stop holding my hand. He then visited me in hospital for the next 3 weeks twice a day. And did everything for me for the next almost 6 months.
Every day he is perfect - but for those few months he was my hero. I couldnt have done it without him
Oh. And he doesnt mock me too often about my completely irrational and hysterical fear of moths and butterflys, and he puts them outside for me whenever one gets in.
my hubby is good like that too. i have alot of health problems and he comes to all my appts. one appt where i was having something done that was scary and i never had one before so i didn't know what to expect vic was there holding my hand and the dr kicked him out of the room. vic was polite but when i got out of the room vic said you will never go back to him again! and i never did. he was so worried about me i just loved that. allie
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I homebirthed our last son in our livingroom. For hours he held me up as I leaned against him, rubbed my back as I rocked on the yoga ball, and held my hand and laid on the floor next to the recliner as I labored. He did this for 4 hours before catching our baby boy as he was born! Talk about a trooper!!!
ReplyDeleteHere's one (more) reason why I love John (no, not your John, MY John). I managed a two line Facebook update after this event, but my John explains it better:
ReplyDeletehttp://informatioustechnologism.wordpress.com/2012/10/22/dont-judge-every-stranger-or-even-helpers-need-help/
Just wanted to share my fiancé. He is the most amazing man I've ever met. He insists on doing the majority of the housework, and cooks dinner every night, since he gets home from work before I do.
ReplyDeleteWhen we started talking about getting married, I told him I didn't want a big proposal in front of heaps of people. The night he proposed, he took me to the beach on some ridiculous pretext of whale spotting (looking back, I can see what a thin ruse it was), and told me to look for whales. I looked back to him to tell him how silly it was, and that there were no whales anywhere, and he was on one knee, in the sand, with a ring box in his hand. He listens to everything I say, and more importantly, he pays attention and remembers. I asked him why he took me to the beach to propose, and he said it was because I didn't want a public proposal, and because I had mentioned wanting a beach proposal.
Last year, my pop died. My Tim took a week off work to accompany me 700km to attend a funeral for a man he'd never met, and met my dad, and aunts in less than ideal circumstances.
He is the love of my life, and I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with him. He kills all the spiders and saves me from deadly, man-eating moths in the bathroom.
Um, nobody's really done anything for me. Ever. :(
ReplyDeleteBut I did something for my friend a few months ago. She really likes dolphins. Her birthday was coming up soon, but I couldn't be there because of a vacation. But while I was there, I went to a lighthouse, and in the gift shop they had Little Critterz, which are little animals made of glass.
The first one I saw was a dolphin. :)