Saturday, January 8, 2011

How We Amuse Ourselves

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UPDATE: Just three hours later, and we have an illustrated version. Thanks, JRose!
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46 comments:

  1. AnneJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    Awesome!

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    Oh, now that's hysterical! You and John make such a good team.

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  3. DakotaJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    BAHAHAHA! Sounds like something that would show up on my wall.

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  4. KendraJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:24 PM

    You caught me! I read you via Google Reader. I also subscribe to failbook and in my Zuma Blitz break I didn't look what I was reading and was very confused by the use of both names.

    I'll be okay.

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  5. sarahJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    when unicorns get pregnant can they stop seeing themselves?

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  6. Helen the Snowy OwlJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    My fiancé and I are clearly just as bad because the immediate response I came up with was "Yeah, we're hoping she gives birth to a pair of griffins. It makes sense, with a phoenix for a father"

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  7. StephJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Once when I was eight there was a possum on our back patio and I burst into tears and ran into my room and hid under the covers. It took my mom an hour to calm me down.

    Sparkles sounds nice, though. Let us know when she foals.

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  8. DarlaJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    Awesome.

    Like.

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  9. ChelleJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    You two would fit right in here. The little bandits who wander through my yard are all called "Raccoona Matata". (They all look alike, so they all get the same name!)
    In addition, we have Emmy and Wendy O. Possum. (no relation)
    A while back, someone stole bags of rock salt off our front porch. We suspect roving gangs of rogue deer. You can spot the thugs by the smokes rolled in their shirt sleeves (in warm weather), or matching leather jackets once temps turn cooler.
    Even though smoking is unhealthy, I am quite proud of the deer for conquering that whole lack of opposable thumbs issue and finding a way to hold the cigarettes.

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  10. PegJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    oh, I like the idea of baby griffins! Good thought line, Helen the Snowy Owl :)

    WV-peadoph> don't make those peas mad!

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  11. jenny hJanuary 8, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    I once had a possum in my bathroom. I actually petted it for a bit before I realixe that it wasn't my gray cat.

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  12. tarichuckJanuary 8, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    Fresh grilled fruit-yum! Hope Sparkles has an uneventful pregnancy.

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  13. LisaHJanuary 8, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Wow, I wish we had a backyard unicorn, pregnant or not! All we have is Neighbor Kitty, who likes to walk up to our patio door and make our cats yowl, hiss, and growl at her.

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  14. LivingInSongJanuary 8, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    Well MY family has a troll living under the lake in our backward(he comes out during winter sometimes when it gets too cold and lives in our garage, without our knowledge of course), and lest I forget the fairy colony in the dead tree not too far off. They turned our cat pink at one point, but that's all behind us now.

    Glad to here Sparkles is pregnant! <3

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  15. Virginia PJanuary 8, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    There were three deer on the lawn as I pulled into the garage this evening. Or maybe they were mystic harts?

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  16. Lisa M.January 8, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    Lol! Awesome.

    We have female moose with babies constantly meandering through our yard and eating our trees.

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  17. Marissa and AidanJanuary 8, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    My son thinks we have a basilisk in the basement.....

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  18. JRoseJanuary 8, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    Felt the need to illustrate this:
    Sparkles is Pregnant??

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  19. AllisonJanuary 8, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I. love. you. guys.

    If I ever move to Florida, can we be neighbors?

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  20. KristinJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:10 PM

    The picture is truly FABULOUS.

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  21. UnknownJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    Ha! The image of a pregnant Sparkles will probably carry me through the next work week... so thank you. :)

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  22. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    Why do you hate animals? (j/k, that was hilarous!)

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  23. SJanuary 9, 2011 at 12:16 AM

    The possum wouldn't have lived at our house (Australia). :( Our beagle thinks they're the toys that occasionally supplement his meal.

    Unicorns otoh tend to stamp on his enthusiasm.

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  24. ~TigereyeSal~January 9, 2011 at 12:24 AM

    When baby unicorns are born, do they already have a horn? 'Cause wouldn't that be a little tricky for the mama? Any unicorn biologists in Epbot land who know?

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  25. ChristiJanuary 9, 2011 at 3:12 AM

    I desperately want to be your Facebook friend!

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  26. CrysJanuary 9, 2011 at 3:39 AM

    That was hilarious. Tonight my husband and I came home from dinner and we thought someone was on the roof of our house. After calling the police, we find out we were being stalked by 6 balloons. I'm taking a pic of them tomorrow if they haven't moved on.

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  27. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    How much do you want for Sparkles' baby?

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  28. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Someone needs to put this on 'Failbook' as a WIN!

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  29. Silvana KathrynJanuary 9, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Oh man, your amazing nerdiness brightens my day.

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  30. TekoaJanuary 9, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Adopt the stray cats! You'll also have to find good homes for the unicorn babies.

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  31. Zombie EdwardJanuary 9, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Oh that Sparkles, always running around with that wild young stallion with the gleaming black hair.

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  32. Laura P.January 9, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    oh. my. gosh. you guys are freaking hilarious! thanks for a much needed laugh. can't wait to see pictures of Sparkles's baby!

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  33. MasterpieceLostJanuary 9, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Up until a short while ago, I lived in a forest. through a series of mishaps, a raccoon found its way into my house while I was napping. I woke up to rustling sounds in the hall and, with my bed right by the door, I pulled it open to see what was going on. There was a raccoon hanging koala style on my door molding to avoid my cats. I think I sat there a moment before managing to say 'uh, hi?' out of just sheer dumbfoundedness :P

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  34. MeganJanuary 9, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    LOL. LOVE.

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  35. SnuvaJanuary 9, 2011 at 7:33 PM

    Shiny

    http://www.blackphoenixtradingpost.com/jewelry.html

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  36. ElizabethJanuary 10, 2011 at 4:06 AM

    So much more amusing than most of the stuff that fills my news feed. Also, I think this is the only blog I read with posts that cause me to google phrases like "how do unicorns reproduce?". Thanks for sharing the awesomeness!

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  37. StephanieJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    You have officially made my day. Thank you. :)

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  38. duffylouJanuary 10, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    if sparkles doesn't come out from under the porch, she will get bigger as her pregnancy progresses. she and the baby will be stuck. the jaws of life will be needed for extraction.

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  39. schmaimzJanuary 10, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    sheesh... that Sparkles sure gets around

    thanks for the giggles

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  40. Still SingingJanuary 10, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Hilarious! And I love the illustrations of the animals and the potential offspring!!!

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  41. UnknownJanuary 10, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    Thank you for always coming through on a Monday with a bit of hilarity to get my week off to a good start! Love reading your blog!!

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  42. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    ...literally almost fell out of my chair...you totally just made my day lmao

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  43. The Alphabet GangJanuary 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    "And now, Jim will enter the water to capture the anaconda..."

    That was probably my all-time favorite moment from Wild Kingdom. As a kid, I was always amazed at how Marlin let Jim do all the dirty work and risk his neck while Marlin did the running commentary from the safety of the boat/jeep/blind/what have you.

    I always liked that Jim Fowler. :)

    Carmiehead, the Un-Stalker

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  44. PinkyJanuary 13, 2011 at 1:07 AM

    i laughed so hard I had a coughing fit. And I kinda wish you guys were our neighbors.

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  45. UnknownJanuary 17, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    are you sure we aren't married to the same person? this is an email exchange between me and my husband:

    http://myidiotbrain.blogspot.com/2010/11/shopping-list.html

    ok, so they can't be the same person, john is handy and my hubby is..well, not. maybe they're brothers?

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  46. AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    They're born with horn buds which grow into proper horns as they mature.
    Also the horns are hollow and flutelike. They can be used to snorkel.

    -Paragrin

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